Ratiocination and the Inexplicable

How do we define poverty?

2011-07-19T11:02:00.003-05:00

This morning I read a post on National Review Online deploring the fact that the demographically poor are not living in third world conditions.

Now I'm the type who politically leans toward the National Review type, and some of you may have read a post I wrote a few years back about something quite similar, but something about the tone of this piece really bugged me.

I fail to see the point that Ken McIntyre is trying to make here. It would seem to me that he is trying to say that if you are living in poverty, you should also be living in squalor? If you follow his thinking to its logical conclusion, what it suggests is not pretty.

I mean, really? I can see complaining about the poor choices that people in poverty often make--one of my pet peeves has always been seeing the "poor" wearing the latest fashions in clothes, shoes (and jewelry!) each costing more than my mortgage payment. Now that's something to complain about.

But begrudging them television? A modern refrigerator and cooking appliances? Do we really need to have the poor starving, living in overcrowded, unsanitary tenements, or hovels with dirt floors, in order for them to "count" as poor? Shall we pine for the days of cholera and tuberculosis too? That's a bit Dickensian, don't you think?

True, third world poverty is utterly heartbreaking, but one can be living in the first world, among the most basic of first world comforts, and still be eking a living on such small means as to be worthy of compassion.

Let's get down to the real reason why "poor" people have more stuff than we think they "ought" to: the absolutely insane, pie-in-the-sky credit atmosphere that has prevailed in this country for decades, and continues despite the attempts of reality to crash down and bring us to our senses. We have ALL charged our way into a pretty mess, and debt ceiling or no debt ceiling, gravity is a force that must be reckoned with sooner or later.

The entitlement mentality exists at some level in EVERY household in this land, poor and rich, welfare and non welfare. As long as we can buy it on credit, we're entitled to it, whether it's as small as an Xbox or as big as a PhD. How many of you can imagine living without air conditioning? (I do all the time, by choice.) If we weren't ALL conditioned toward instant gratification of our every desire by years of easy credit, we wouldn't be in this mess. For us to get indignant that the poor should be using whatever money they can get their hands on--welfare or not--to imitate the spending habits of the rest of us is a bit obtuse, isn't it?

If you object to the state of the welfare system, I'm with you. It's disgusting. But then complain about the welfare system. Complain about the homeless panhandler who spends every cent on booze. Complain about the abuse of the system that comes with any sort of handout--including the handouts that come with an interest rate. But don't whip out your Ipad or your Blackberry or your new laptop to dogpile those who suffer the same gadget envy you have.

And then start by cutting up all of your credit cards, pay off your loans and actually live on your means. Then you'll have something to really complain about, because let me tell you, that's a whole new world.

You are what you eat...

2011-05-14T15:03:00.002-05:00

...the number one reason for receiving our Lord in the holy Eucharist as often as possible.

Love trumps Fear

2011-03-20T18:54:00.005-05:00

As sinners, it is easy for us to get hung up on the seriousness of sin and the necessity of penance--and to let our own unworthiness become a barrier between ourselves and God.

But what we too often fail to grasp is the warmth and immensity of God's love for us. Jesus himself tried to explain this to us in the parable of the Prodigal son. Our Father in heaven positively burns with unquenchable love for each and every one of us. He waits and yearns for us to come to Him so that He can once more throw His arms around us and welcome us home with tears of joy.

Fear of the Lord is...good...but what He really prefers is love. When we truly love someone, we will do anything at all for them--not because we feel it is our duty, but because we really, really want to.

With this in mind, a trip to the confessional becomes less of a chore and more of an opportunity to experience heaven's embrace. Likewise, an hour spent with the Blessed Sacrament is like a visit with our best friend. And the thought of receiving our Lord in the Eucharist ought to inflame us with longing!

During this Lent, seek to cultivate this love for our Lord, and experience the change it can make in your life.

Wisdom

2011-03-16T11:01:00.002-05:00

I used to think that wisdom was something you had, whether it was gained through experience, or it was something God gave you, like he did to Solomon.

As I get older, I have begun to realize that Wisdom is something that God has. He just lends us little bits of it when needed.

Kids say the darndest things...

2011-01-18T23:22:00.002-06:00

We often listen to the local classical music station in the mornings, on the way to drop off the youngest two at Montessori school. When something comes on that sounds identifiable, I will wonder aloud who it is by, and the kids are only too happy to throw out all the names of composers they know, starting with the usual suspects: Bach, Mozart, Beethoven...

So I couldn't help laughing at the expense of our 4yo dd this morning when she preempted my asking by blurting out, "Is this by Bachtoven?"

Right, and yet...wrong.

2011-01-12T14:26:00.006-06:00

As a parent, one of the many hats I must don on a constant basis is that of peacemaker. Our Lord may have said, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst,” but any parent knows that where two or three children are gathered in any space, for any length of time, there will always be fighting. If any other parent out there has ever taken a car trip longer than, say, 20 minutes, with more than 2 children, WITHOUT any mass distraction techniques (like DVD players) or other tranquilizers, and not experienced at least ONE fight, then…then…I don’t know what, because I don’t think it’s possible.

Because of this propensity children have toward not just fighting, but fighting over the most ridiculous things imaginable, I am often forced to attempt to explain to them a concept that even many adults are unable to put into practice.

The concept?

That you can be right and still make yourself wrong.

The concept is easiest explained in the behavior of a legalistic 6-year-old who rails against his brother, the rulebreaker. The rulebreaker refuses to repent and thus receives a whack on the head by the budding jurist.

Lawyer boy’s argument was valid, but the whack on the head made him guilty of assault, which is far worse than the original rule infraction by his brother.

Inevitably, in situations like this, Lawyer boy will argue himself blue in the face, defending the fact that he was right. It’s my job to show him the error of his ways.

How many times do we do this in our own lives? In a culture that seems to be at odds with everything Christian, we are sometimes forced to become ‘warriors’ for one cause or another. It seems like every day we manage to find an occasion to condemn others who, in our estimation, are flat-out wrong—from political leaders to personal acquaintances—and many times we are right. But when we cross the subtle line between condemning the sin and condemning the sinner, we end up like Wile E. Coyote in his quest for the roadrunner: walking on thin air.

There are all sorts of egregious examples of this phenomenon throughout history, from the bloody zeal of the Civil War—to the bloody zeal of the French and Russian Revolutions—to the bloody zeal of the Catholic-Protestant wars—to the bloody zeal of the Crusades... The partisans in each of these cases either were—or at least believed they were—“legally” within their rights, so much so that they were willing to be martyred for their cause. But if we believe all of what Christ taught us, both in the Bible and through His Saints, then we must see that the way they chose to enforce that “right” was...not.

Now, like Lawyer boy, you can argue these and other cases until you’re blue in the face. You can make wild accusations, such as calling me a revisionist (I’m not) or a heretic (well, that’s in God’s hands…). You can disagree with the inferred point of view expressed by my statements. But I didn’t write the Gospels, and if you’re inclined to disagree with them, well, then, I can’t help you. But last I checked, they still said, “Love your enemies, and do good to them that hate you.” It’s not a popular philosophy, but it’s the one Christ taught.

St. Francis de Sales was on the front lines in the battle against Calvinism in Switzerland during the Protestant Reformation. He was credited with bringing thousands back to the Faith. And how did he do it? By the sword? By the Inquisition? By condemning the heretics? No—he patiently bore the hatred of the Protestants and taught them both by word and example. At the end of his life, confronted by those who disagreed with his gentle methods, he maintained: “I would rather account to God for too great gentleness than for too great severity. Is not God all love? God the Father is the Father of mercy; God the Son is a Lamb; God the Holy Ghost is a Dove, that is, gentleness itself. And are you wiser than God?”

And when you shall stand to pray, forgive, if you have aught against any man; that your Father also, who is in heaven, may forgive you your sins.

But if you will not forgive, neither will your Father that is in heaven, forgive you your sins. (Mark 11: 25-26)

Many of those who take pleasure in the tarring and feathering of the unrepentant like to quote Christ as saying, “I came not to bring peace, but the sword...” But the Bible is full of quotes that are not only easily misinterpreted, but taken out of context. That quote is mined from a lengthy “sending off” speech that Jesus gave as he was sending his disciples out into the world to preach the Gospel, with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Later on in that very same speech, what does he tell His disciples to do if they are not accepted in a town? To call down curses from heaven? To send e-mails to everyone they know, telling how horrible those people are?

And when you come into the house, salute it, saying: Peace be to this house. And if that house be worthy, your peace shall come upon it; but if it be not worthy, your peace shall return to you. And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words: going forth out of that house or city shake off the dust from your feet. Amen I say to you, it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city. (Matthew 10:12-15)

Who does the cursing here? The disciples? No! It is God himself, the only truly worthy judge of our fellow humans. Moreover, we are to salute all in peace—and we lose nothing in doing so—even in offering peace to the unworthy, for if they are indeed unworthy, the peace we have bestowed will return to us. And I know, personally, I can use as much peace as I can get.

Nevertheless, those who refuse to be deterred from their righteous upbraiding of evildoers will persist in finding whatever support they can—often resorting to this quote:

And I say to thee: That thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give to thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven. And whatsoever thou shalt bind upon earth, it shall be bound also in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose upon earth, it shall be loosed also in heaven. (Matthew 16:18-19)

They therefore rest their condemnation upon not their own shoulders, but upon the judgment of the Church. In matters where the Holy See has pronounced judgment on a particular matter, this is exactly what we should do: leave it to the judgment of the Church. Even with regard to “binding” and “loosing”, Jesus gives clear instruction:

Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord, how often shall my brother offend against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith to him: I say not to thee, till seven times; but till seventy times seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22)

He goes on to tell the story of the servant who is forgiven his debt, but does not forgive his own debtors. There is no ambiguity: in matters that involve the judging of others, we are treading on dangerous territory. The Gospels make it abundantly clear that we are supposed to love our neighbor at all costs, friend or enemy, right or wrong. When we ignore this commandment—which Christ himself gave us as one of the Two Great Commandments—by placing even the judgment of the Church above it—it is our Lord himself whom we judge, and that’s just not ever a good idea. Such matters are best left to the Office of the Inquisition if necessary.

To put it a different way: when we insist on punishing the sinners in our midst—even if it’s only verbally—we’re being like Lawyer boy again, being such a stickler for the rules that we’ve lost sight of the fact that, in general, simple things like love and forgiveness trump “being right”.

Again, to illustrate, we will look at the 3-year-old who insists against all known reason that tomorrow is Saturday. Never mind that today is Monday. This is the reality of a toddler. Her brothers and sisters are having conniption fits trying to prove to her that she’s wrong, but they’re wasting their time. My advice to them: “Let her be wrong! It is sufficient that you know the truth, and that you’ve told her, calmly, once. In time, she will learn. But you won’t convince her by screaming at her.”

This concept is easy to see in children’s behavior, but less easy to notice in our own selves. How many times do we insist on showing others the error of their ways, despite the fact that they refuse to see it? How many times do we indulge in reading and sharing material that does the same? The case could be as clear cut as the incontrovertible fact that Saturday does not follow Monday. But when we allow the ensuing argument to sow anger, resentment and discord, no good comes of it.

The Pharisees were religious zealots who used their high social and moral standing to condemn those who did not meet their standards. To quote the Catholic Encyclopedia, “Pharisaism developed a proud and arrogant orthodoxy and an exaggerated formalism, which insisted on ceremonial details at the expense of the more important precepts of the Law.” Despite the fact that they were among the most respected individuals of their day, they’re the only people in the bible that Jesus has continually got it out for. They could quote every insignificant jot and tittle of the law, but they couldn't see beyond that rigid construct and the self-righteousness it afforded them. What a complete shock it was to them that Jesus should prevent them from putting an adulteress to death! What sort of justice could there be in ignoring the law?

And indeed, if we know Him to be God, then it is impossible for him to be unjust. We must then see that He was not ignoring the law—He was attempting to show us that there was something more important than being right.

When Jesus sent his Disciples out into the world, he could have told them to judge the people and enforce the Mosaic Law. After all, that’s exactly what the Pharisees did. Of course, no one who followed Jesus could possibly be unclear with regard to how He felt about them. Instead, what did Jesus tell them to do?

And going, preach, saying: The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out devils: freely have you received, freely give. (Matthew 10:7-8)

He is also quite specific about what to do about anyone who hates or obstructs them, or even tries to put them to death: quite simply, they must fearlessly and steadfastly persevere in the truth. Not fight them, or badmouth them, or seek vengeance. Simply to persevere in the truth.

Here is where that quote about ‘bringing not peace but the sword’ fits in. Let’s put it into its proper context:

Do not think that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword. For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

And a man's enemies shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. (Matthew 10:34-37)

At first blush, this sounds like classic crusader language: anyone who rejects the faith is an infidel, worthy of being put to the sword. But when we read this passage, what should come to mind instead is the Passion of St. Perpetua, who preferred martyrdom to the entreaties of her father and the cries of her infant son. It’s a subtle difference, but what we are “fighting” for are not the things of this world—which must be fought by the sword—but instead our own fidelity to the Gospel. This alone is a never-ending battle, without allowing ourselves to be distracted by the sins of others.

We must not allow ourselves to be steamrolled into giving up Christ’s teachings, whether by the coercion of our loved ones, or the coercion of the sword, or even the coercion of not wanting to make waves.

However, the converse is not true: we ought not to steamroll everybody else that doesn’t agree with us:

But the servant of the Lord must not wrangle: but be mild towards all men, apt to teach, patient, with modesty admonishing them that resist the truth: if peradventure God may give them repentance to know the truth, and they may recover themselves from the snares of the devil, by whom they are held captive at his will. (2 Timothy 2:24-26)

And again:

And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed: Yet do not esteem him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother. (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15)

If you didn’t get it yet, here it is again:

Be not wise in your own conceits. To no man rendering evil for evil. Providing good things, not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as is in you, have peace with all men. Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved; but give place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. But if thy enemy be hungry, give him to eat; if he thirst, give him to drink. For, doing this, thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head.

Be not overcome by evil, but overcome evil by good. (Romans 12:16-21)

It is our job to do what is right, and it is God’s job to punish sin. “I will repay, saith the Lord.” We cannot ourselves do what is right if we are busy avenging wrongs. Besides, we avenge those wrongs best by the contrast of good example, rather than by harsh words or actions. This is the point that I must continually drum into Lawyer boy’s head: You can be right, and still make yourself wrong.

But I say to you, that whosoever is angry with his brother, shall be in danger of the judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council. And whosoever shall say, Thou Fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. (Matthew 5:22)

We really shouldn’t second guess quotes like this. If Jesus himself told us that mere anger against our brother is dangerous, we should take Him at His word. We should flee from it as though it were the Plague.

Margaret Mary Alacoque, who was blessed to have visions and instruction from our Lord himself, tells us:

“While at prayer, I begged our Lord to make known to me by what means I could satisfy the desire that I had to love Him. He gave me to understand, that one cannot better show one's love for Him than by loving one's neighbor for love of Him…You should never find fault with, accuse or judge anyone but yourself, so that your tongue, on which the Sacred Host so often rests, may not serve Satan as instruments to sully your soul.”

This is most significant, and must not be ignored by any who seek to fight the many sources of evil in this world. When we find fault with others, and worse, when we treat them with unkindness, we allow the devil to twist our good intentions to work further evil. Woe to those of us who fall into this trap! So much more good is done by patiently bearing evil, by silently offering up our sufferings, however great or small, by fighting it by word and example, and—oh yes—my favorite—by constant prayer! In this way, we allow the Lord to work His own will through us, which is more perfect by far than our own, and thus avoiding the danger of exerting our own will in error, as warned of by St. Augustine in his Treatise on the Psalms:

“…let us not hate them, for we do not know whether any of them will persist to the end in their evil ways. And most of the time, when you think you are hating your enemy, you are hating your brother without knowing it.”

Lost without a roadmap

2011-01-02T14:14:00.003-06:00

When one first enters the new and mysterious world of Traditional Catholicism, it is not at all unusual to be plagued continually by a sense of utter ineptitude. From being lost in clouds of incense during Mass to sorting through haystacks of unfamiliar theological terms to navigating a labyrinth of customs that seem as foreign as ancient Crete—it’s truly amazing that anyone can manage without throwing their hands up in despair.

In this situation, the internet has proven sometimes more of a cross than a guide, as those seeking advice are confronted with irreconcilable factions which each claim to be more Catholic than the other. There are those who remain faithful to the Magisterium while bemoaning the departure from the long-standing traditions of our mother Church; there are those who declare that only those who remain faithful to a time-capsule Church as it was prior to the Second Vatican Council can rightly call themselves Catholic; and then there are those who take this argument one step further and declare the Chair of Peter to be empty, all Post-VII teachings heresy.

One who goes seeking answers to confront this unholy mess finds himself as a child who has known only the orphanage, suddenly being fought over by more than one family, each claiming to be his true parents; a state of affairs truly Dickensian in its ability to produce more uncertainty at every turn.

So how then can we know which path to follow? Each group seems fully convinced that they alone have the truth, and that all others are in danger of hellfire. Our Lord himself foresaw just such situations as this: His own advice was that we might know them by their fruit. The defense of truth looks wholly different from quibbling over right; and 'enmity, contention, wrath, quarrels and dissent' are most certainly sour grapes. We must bear in mind that if Heresy is our enemy, yet the heretic is still our fellow man. It is a subtle distinction, but an important one: we all have the duty as Catholics to hold to the truths of our Faith despite the worldly onslaught of evil, but this duty does not excuse us from our obligation toward 'charity, joy, peace, patience, benignity, goodness, longanimity and mildness' in the practice thereof. Don’t believe me; a whole list of saints have said the same. See St. Francis de Sales for starters.

“For all the law is fulfilled in one word: Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. But if you bite and devour one another; take heed you be not consumed one of another.” (Gal 5:14-15)

When one is fortunate enough to be fed the richness of the Tridentine Mass, who has subsisted on the meagerness of the “Ordinary Form” for so long, it seems almost inevitable that our human nature will compare the two and, finding the one lacking, misinterpret the new blessing by cursing the other. But to be enlightened is not to be superior; we must always in our humility remember that Salvation is not merited but freely given. That our Lord saw fit to lead us to this fold ought to make us rather thankful to Him than spiteful of the other sheep whom we unwittingly followed astray.

I cannot pretend to know, in its entirety, what the True Church consists of. I only know that in our feeble attempts to learn, we are all like the blind men trying to describe the elephant. I know that the elephant is far more wonderful than any of us can comprehend. And above all, I know that, as the living Body of Christ, it can not be discovered by being hacked to pieces.

All of us then, must take refuge in knowing that

“As a father hath compassion on his children, so hath the Lord compassion on them that fear him: For he knoweth our frame. He remembereth that we are dust.” (Ps 102:13-14)

He knows each of us better than we know ourselves, and He himself will lead us if we will simply allow him to:

“And when he hath let out his own sheep, he goeth before them: and the sheep follow him, because they know his voice.” (John 10:4)

In times past, to know the voice of the Church was to know the voice of our Lord. In these times, when the number of voices clamoring to be heard has become a cacophony, it is crucial to learn to know His voice—not that of the storm nor the earthquake nor the fire, but only the “whistling of a gentle air.” (3 Kings 19:12) We will never hear this voice if we allow the clamor of petty scandal and worldly strife to drown it out; nor will we know it if we place our own voice above all others, for to seek Truth is to doubt you already possess it.

Thus we tune our ear to the voice of God through practicing humility and self-mortification, and above all, through frequent prayer. What type of prayer is less important than that we should pray as often as possible.

“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmity. For we know not what we should pray for as we ought; but the Spirit himself asketh for us with unspeakable groanings.” (Romans 8:26)

By allowing God to lead us in all things, He cannot fail to lead us to Himself.

+ HABEMUS METHYLCOBALAMIN +

2010-08-25T20:11:00.011-05:00

OK, I don't want to be sacrilegious or anything, but I've been praying for this day.

Why? Today, and every third day for the next three months, my son (the one with Asperger's) will be receiving a shot of Methyl B12 right in the butt.

We moms are so odd sometimes in what we rejoice over, aren't we?

And I know what some of you may be saying: every time you try some new and wonderful protocol with your son, you always get all excited and blog about it...and then...silence. Guilty as charged. So I owe you all an update on the things we've tried.

First, there was the SCD--the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.

Of all the things we have implemented thus far, this has been the most helpful.

It is also the most likely to a) put you in the poorhouse; b) make you a complete social pariah and c) wreck your marriage. Now doesn't that sound like fun?

No, seriously, folks. I know that sounds like I'm damning SCD with faint praise...but I go back to my first statement. It really made a difference for both my Asperger's son and my ADHD/Dyslexic daughter. But only when we were 100% strict and followed the stages correctly.

We are still doing a modified version of SCD which is not 100% strict, and while it is a lot better than how bad things got when we stopped it altogether for a few months (yeah--he nearly self-destructed... Started chasing the neighbor kids with sticks...Started stuttering...Couldn't communicate simply because it was too frustrating. It was BAAAAAAD.) it is only as good as we are.

Every time we cheat it's real, certifiable PAIN for about a week or more. If we cheat on a regular basis, forget about it. He never stops cycling. (But I will tell you one thing: when we started back up on SCD after taking a break, his stuttering went away in a matter of days...)

As for the down sides of SCD, they certainly exist. But just having a child on the Spectrum can tend to have those side effects, so...

On the whole, I really do highly recommend the SCD as a way of helping a child with special needs. Heck, it even helped me with some issues. But you will need nerves of steel.

Then there was the next big thing: Clay baths.

When I first found out about these, I immediately knew I wanted to try it. I knew instinctively that my son had a heavy metal load, and this was a safe, effective, economical way to get it out. But what I didn't take into account is that most kids with the kind of problems he's got have not only got a heavy metal load. They lack the natural processes we are supposed to have to get rid of it.

This meant that as we gave him these baths, we were pulling the heavy metals out of the tissues, but they weren't exiting the body. They started banging around in there and causing all sorts of problems. My son went from bad to worse to WHOA!!!

At first I thought this was detoxification crisis and that once we got over the hump, it would start to get better. I kept hacking away. The tics got worse, and he even developed new ones he hadn't had before. At that point, I stopped.

It pains me to say that I probably did more damage than was already there. Worse, where the SCD diet was able to keep his symptoms under control previously, it was now having little effect on him. His impulse control was out of control. He was stimming and generally making all of us as unhappy as he was.

Then the unthinkable happened.

OK, not that unthinkable...it was merely that my husband spoke to someone we knew with an autistic child who had recently started seeing a DAN! doctor, and her son was making huge improvements as a result. My husband began to think that maybe we should try this.

I had always hoped to try this, but the price tag was so high and the waiting list even worse. (Years ago we had to put him on a waiting list just to get on the waiting list...and six months later, with a combination of SCD and RDI, he was doing so well that we decided to forgo it...)

In July, we had our first appointment. We ran blood tests, urine tests and stool tests. Today was our first follow-up to discuss the results of these tests.

The good news is that we've been on the right track. The diet we've been following, including the raw dairy, has kept him healthier and in better shape for detoxing than many other kids with similar problems. TAKE NOTE.

But as we already knew, he has issues with bad bacteria and yeast in the gut, and he needs B12 to help him detoxify. (If you're not familiar with the connection between methyl B12, methylation and detoxification of heavy metals, run--don't walk--to your local library and get a copy of the book Healing the New Childhood Epidemics by Kenneth Bock. Best. Book. Ever.)

That is why SCD alone couldn't do it...it helped with the bad gut flora, but didn't address the detoxification issue.

That is why the clay baths weren't helping--he needed to get methylation going in order to detoxify those heavy metals.

And I've known this for a while.

And I've been praying that we could get him these B-12 shots for a long time.

And there they sit in my refrigerator, ready for a brave 7 year old (his birthday was just days ago!) to take a shot in the butt!!!

Hallelujah!!!

9th month blues...

2010-05-30T21:00:00.004-05:00

Just last night I was tossing in agony like a beached whale, feeling sorry for myself--and it occurred to me that surely Dante must have skipped the part of Hell where especially wicked women suffer the torture of being eternally 9 and 1/2 months pregnant...

Then this morning, a friend at Church gave me this LP, having found it in a stack of records that someone was getting rid of. Naturally, when she saw it, she thought of me, big as a house at 38 weeks. My first thought was...an LP??? Thanks.

I looked at the cover and it gave me a chuckle--this is classic goofy sixties humor:

I still was at a loss as to what to do with this...it was indeed cute, but if you could see my house, one more item just might make it burst at the seams. I know, that's not the most charitable attitude, she was thoughtful enough to share it with me...but I'm suffering from a combination of frustrated nesting and obsession with getting through the next two weeks without losing my mind.

She felt I was not laughing nearly hard enough. "Look at the song list!" she urged.

OK, sixties songs. Yes, cute.

Wait...I looked closer. I started to get the joke.

Uh...I should have danced all night? I've got you under my skin???? THOU SWELL!!!

(and do you notice at the bottom...high IN-fidelity records...?)

OK, I'm slow on the uptake, but once I finally got it, the chuckle accelerated into a full-blown, side-splitting laugh...

But the joke wasn't over yet...

I was still laboring under the impression that this was really an LP...but when you open it, this is what you find:

What more can I say?

technorati

“But it’s so haaaaard!”

2010-04-11T01:52:00.004-05:00

It’s bad enough when you have to listen to your kids whine about this, but nothing gets my goat faster than listening to grown adults tell you about how they know they ought to do such-and-such, but it’s just too hard.

They know they shouldn’t watch TV so much, but it’s too hard.

They know they shouldn’t eat crap so much, but it’s too hard.

They know they ought to take better care of themselves, but it’s too hard.

If I had a dime for every time I had to listen to somebody say these sorts of things, I would…well, I wouldn’t be rich, but I would have an unusually large collection of dimes. (I’m thinking of charging silver dimes only…then that collection would be really worth something…)

Every day, we all wake up and we make ourselves do the things we’re supposed to do. We eat, wash, go to work, take care of our children, do all the necessaries…and we scarcely give a moment’s thought to it. Whatever is routine, we just do, because, well, it has to be done. People have been achieving tremendous things throughout history because they did what had to be done.

People always respond with awe when they find that I have 5 ½ children, and when they hear that I homeschool them, and that we do a special diet for our son on the spectrum…I get accused of being some sort of superhuman, or of being—heaven forfend—a saint! (After all, who really wants to be a saint anymore??? It’s too hard!)

I constantly try to stress to these people that all of us have the ability to meet the challenges that come our way. The problem is that our society has discovered enough ways of running away from those challenges and still getting away with it, that we scarcely ever meet such challenges head on anymore--unless we specifically choose to do so--and then we must endure being thought of as saints simply for doing WHAT IS RIGHT.

A friend of mine is fond of repeating the saying “You can’t be just a little bit pregnant. Either you’re pregnant or you’re not.”

Likewise, things are either true or they’re not.

Because life is messy, there are always instances where we do not have the freedom or ability to do what is right, but these are the exceptions. We know right from wrong, and when we choose wrong, 9 times out of 10 it’s because we just don’t feel like doing what’s right, because it’s just such a drag.

We encounter challenges in our lives, and we do everything in our power to tiptoe around them; to pretend they’re not there; to simply hope they’ll go away if we ignore them long enough. Worse still, we try to rationalize them away by coming up with every possible argument about why it’s too hard.

When we do this, what we are doing is trying to pretend that it’s not right to do the right thing. And it just ain’t so.

Every day that goes by I have to deal with children who don’t feel like doing what they’re told because “it’s too hard.” They are not mature enough yet to understand the importance of responsibility. It’s my job above all others to instill in them this very concept: that we do what’s hard because it must be done. No use complaining. You do it.

And I am certainly no saint. God is daily drilling this very same concept into my head—continually putting hurdles before me, no matter how tired I get of hurdles. But there is no more pathetic sight than watching a hurdler walk around the hurdles.

Many times it is precisely those hurdles that bring untold joy into our lives—such as the hurdle of having children. When we suffer for our mistakes or endure hardships, they teach us to do what is right, and to grow and learn and mature. The rewards of doing what is right nearly always have a value far beyond the price we pay for them.

Likewise, the result of avoiding hardship is bound up in the words cowardly, spoiled, immature…not especially nice words, but the shoe fits those who relish their own pleasure and comfort over the hard-won benefits of doing the right thing.

So the next time you start talking yourself out of doing the right thing because it’s too hard, I want you to think of soldiers who desert when they see a battle. I want you to think of people who hit and run. I want you to think of cheats and liars and thieves and unfaithful husbands (or wives). Because the only difference between you and them is that society retains a stigma against these forms of not doing the right thing.

And stop whining. You sound like my children.

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Have you ever wanted to bathe in mud???

2010-02-13T01:20:00.001-06:00

My excitement is beyond words. All I could think of as I was driving home today was, “I have 450 pounds of clay in the trunk!!!”

No doubt you are unsure what on earth the meaning of this statement could possibly be. Never fear, I will not leave you hanging. No, there was no typo up there. I really did bring 450 pounds of clay home today.

Yes, it’s true—I always have to do things at 300% or not at all, but the reasons for this madness were as follows:

1) I’m not taking up pottery; I am hoping to implement clay baths for my family as a way of ridding ourselves of the stored toxins and heavy metals in our systems—especially those of us who suffer the worst symptoms, like autism, dyslexia, digestive disturbances, extreme fatigue and extreme sensitivities…

2) I was fortunate enough to actually find a local source for the most highly recommended bathing clay, HPM-20 bentonite by American Colloid Company. It was awkward to purchase such an item from a large chemical company that usually does business on a wholesale level, but when you’re desperate, well, you do what you gotta…

3) Because I found it locally—saving on shipping and buying from a source that has no incentive to mark it up unnecessarily—I was able to get this powdered gold for a mere 65 cents a pound!

4) Due to the unique circumstances entailed by #2 and #3, I was required to observe the $250 minimum purchase requirement…which, at 65 cents a pound, meant I had to get 8-50 lb bags.

5) That only comes out to 400 pounds, you say. Congratulations on your math skills. I’m not sure where the error took place, but when I went to pick up my order, I was given 9 bags. I wasn’t interested in arguing. I took the 9 bags. I figured if their paperwork said 9 bags, then God wanted me to have 9 bags…

But that wasn’t the funniest part of today. I wasn’t brave enough to try to unload any of the bags, being nearly 6 months pregnant. I started preparing all the necessary tools and gadgets, etc. that I would need to start getting some baths going, with the assumption that I would fill a container with the proper amount and bring it upstairs. Suddenly, my 7 year old comes in from the garage carrying one of the bags, saying, “Where should I put this, mom?”

Along with expressions of surprise and concern, I told her that of course, we would do the baths upstairs. She promptly set about lugging the thing up the stairs!!! Not to be outdone, her 9-year-old sister helped her heave the thing all the way up. I was so dumbfounded, it was all I could do to regain enough presence of mind to at least capture part of this on film.

I guess they were anxious to get started.

It took until well after dinner to give each one a hot, muddy bath. I took one myself. It was a little slimy, but not as bad as you might expect. It was excessively hard to fit my whale-like physique into that little 5-foot bathtub and still keep a reasonable amount of skin under the water, but I managed.

No miracle cures took place in the span of those few hours, but none were expected. I will continue to post updates as seems appropriate… And seeing as how we have a solid 6-month supply for all of us to take baths twice a week, surely there should be at least one or two things of interest to report…

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Starving on cream puffs

2010-02-11T11:25:00.007-06:00

Many people these days lament the fact that despite religious upbringings, the faith they knew as children has inevitably fallen away as they have matured. We bemoan this both in ourselves and in others (in whom it is always more noticeable…). And yet, when we look at the normal mode of catechesis that has been in place for the past generation or more, it is hardly surprising. In reaction to the Puritanical tendencies of our forefathers, we have swung the pendulum of catechesis so far in the opposite direction, that we are feeding our children the theological equivalent of Twinkies.

Not merely was the catechesis of my own childhood unbearably saccharine, it was utterly devoid of anything remotely theologically profound—or when it weakly attempted to be so, it was artlessly and very uncomfortably rushed past. Always the focus was on simplification to the point of being stultifying. After all, these are children! You have to speak to them on their level!

Nothing ever made me more angry than this supposition. Children are not mature, but they are not empty-headed and witless unless we have made them so by dumbing down every communication ever to hit their ears.

If you spoke baby-talk to your children until they were teenagers, you would not wonder why they couldn’t bear to ever hear such drivel again, nor to ever do such a thing with their own children. Or if you force-fed Dr. Seuss to them until the day they left for college…? What if they ate only foods from the Children’s menu all their lives? How can we expect anyone to retain a love and value for something oversimplified, if it never improves with age?

That is what we have done with our children for over a generation. We have treated them like mental deficients who can’t grasp anything remotely complicated, forgetting that the mind of a child is most suited to discovery—they crave the challenge of unraveling knots! Those knots must always have just the right amount of difficulty—too much breeds despair, but too little breeds contempt. We have consistently kept the knots too simple, and yet we wonder at the contempt and distaste that inevitably follows.

Of course, we can’t put a copy of Aquinas in the hands of a child who has just learned to read--but to give him no more than “Yes, Jesus loves me” until he is old enough for Aquinas is a sure way to make him utterly uninterested in Aquinas. Make no mistake, a child must have no dearth of material into which his teeth can sink deeply. He must have meat and vegetables, not chicken nuggets and macaroni. He must drink deeply of nourishing milk, not of sugary soda.

What, then, can a child be fed that will nourish him appropriately? Despite the panoply of media that surround us 24/7, there is so little that is uniquely appropriate to foster the morality of the maturing mind. The only such materials I have found have been well over 50 years old—lucky finds at estate sales and resale stores—and the growing number of reprints of such materials. In particular, there was an especially gifted writer of such material over a century ago: Mother Mary Loyola.

I have recently discovered a treasure trove of her books for children, scanned and posted on the internet. The level of her materials easily spans from the First Communion years to young adulthood. Despite my age and theological background, I open book after book of hers and am immediately drawn in—first by her style, which is especially engaging, not only to the young mind, but to any active mind. But then I am nourished by the meat of her prose. She lays the richness of our faith before these children, telling them stories that are utterly neglected by the “Jesus loves me” set. I never knew the story of Susannah, or of Judith and Holofernes, or of the drunkenness of Noah until I was faced with artwork that illustrated those stories—which were well known to our ancestors. She does not avoid these more obscure and theologically complex subjects, nor does she dumb them down. The level of challenge is just right.

Now that I have had some experience in self-publishing, I am busily working on getting as many of these volumes printed as my time and budget will allow, because I know that they will fulfill one of the other unspoken laws of childhood: if it’s there, they’ll use it. (Incidentally the same reason why we have no TV, video games, electronic toys, etc.—but that’s a topic for another post.)

Only by revealing our faith as something truly engaging will our young people have any hope of retaining interest in it as they grow older. Doing so does not entail re-making it as a video game: children tire even of video games. It entails allowing it to speak for itself as much as possible, just as it has for millennia.

UPDATE 5/26/10: I've finally gotten these all together, cleaned up and presentable, and have even added some books that are pretty much unfindable, even online. If you would like to check out what I've spent my last 3 months doing, visit my new website: St. Augustine Academy Press.

Who knew I'd become a publishing company???
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Mainstream recognition of the dangers of Wireless Technology!!!

2010-02-09T10:52:00.001-06:00

Within the span of one month, two major mainstream magazines—Prevention and GQ--have published articles about the dangers of Electromagnetic and Radio Frequency fields—and both are in favor of those who have been sounding the alarms all along! Surely the Second Coming will be within weeks at this rate!

Anyone who gives a dang-a-lang-a-ding-dong about their health absolutely MUST read these articles:

http://www.gq.com/cars-gear/gear-and-gadgets/201002/warning-cell-phone-radiation?currentPage=1

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34509513/ns/health-cancer//

While you’re at it, you may want to have a look at this 10-minute video of a Senate hearing on the topic:

http://www.youtube.com/magdahavas

This is serious stuff, folks. And as you can see, I’m not making it up.

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Do you sense a theme today?

2010-02-09T09:41:00.002-06:00

WOW! Two posts in one day!!! While I was on the theme of side-splitting laughter, I thought I'd share this picture with you, which definitely fulfills the old saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words." Never mind that there are some words in the picture...

I actually laughed until I cried when I saw this, courtesy of the website msgexposed.com--the picture says it all:

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Waaaay too funny!

2010-02-09T09:29:00.004-06:00

Thanks to the decision of policymakers, our TV ceased being able to bring the daily dose of sewage into our house last year. I rejoiced at this turn of events, even if it meant that the sports-addicted contingent in the house had to feed that addiction by listening to the radio instead... (Am I the only one on the planet who thinks that the noise of sports broadcasts is like fingernails on a chalkboard??? No, worse--it's like when you're shredding something and you accidentally shred your knuckles...)

The odd attraction of Superbowl ads is, therefore, as happily beyond our reach as the Superbowl itself. But via my own addiction, the internet, I still was able to properly appreciate this ad. I will not bother to comment on it, since there has already been enough virtual ink spilled on the subject. Anyone who has read my posts on this blog already knows my POV.

Enjoy.

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Of Autism and Moral Peril

2010-01-28T17:07:00.005-06:00

I have been giving a great deal of thought to my son’s condition lately, after having tripped over some information about clay baths, which have supposedly succeeded in healing Autism in some children by detoxifying heavy metals from their bodies. Studies have even shown that it is more effective—and safer—than chemical chelation treatments. And it’s less expensive to boot.

With this kicking around in my head, today I read an article proposing the possibility of a cure for Down Syndrome, which begged the question: if you had a child with Down Syndrome, would you seek such a cure?

As the mother of a son with Asperger's, I have asked myself this very question many times. It definitely is not as simple as it seems, and my son’s issue is not even chromosomal. But my son's unique personality is completely bound up within his Asperger's. It would be abundantly obvious to say that this is one of his most trying features.

But what is less obvious is that this is also one of his most endearing features.

His complete obliviousness to social expectations is only blockheadedness in certain situations. In others, it is sweet and refreshing beyond words. He is preserved from that common deceit that we all unconsciously practice in the name of smoothing social interactions. This characteristic is one that I am not always 100% sure he needs to lose.

Why? It seems obvious he would get along better--and thus, be happier--and so would all of those who deal with him. But I'm not sure I'm convinced of that.

It's hard to explain, but the same mechanism that preserves him from social awareness also preserves in him a sort of moral purity. His failure to understand social rights and wrongs actually preserves him from acting in a way which is morally wrong. Does that make sense?

Let me try it another way: as Christians, we believe that if a person sins, but does so without the ability to understand that he is sinning, then he is faultless. There has to be a component of will involved. This is my son. I can explain sin to him all day long, and it remains on the surface of his consciousness like oil on water.

So while I grieve for his lack of ability to behave as we expect him to, I am comforted by this knowledge that he is being preserved from the stain we all know in our everyday lives. It's an odd sort of comfort, but it's such that it would be odd to suddenly have that removed, and see him behaving normally (according to social mores) but no longer oblivious to the consequences...

So though I don't have any experience with Down Syndrome, I would imagine feeling the same way. I have been told that the innocence of these people is similar, if not more intense and pure. I have also heard that they are even more loving than most people. (And this I often find in my son, too--he just doesn't always express it the way you expect him to.) One thing I do know is that if I ever had a child with Down Syndrome, I would accept that child lovingly.

But there is another very different perspective on the issue, fraught with even more moral peril.

In our secular society, there is a fair amount of obliviousness to the idea that things happen for a reason which none of us understands. At best, the concept of "God's will" is utterly forgotten; at worst, the very idea is denigrated as no better than willful stupidity.

It undoubtedly would be much more expedient for everyone involved if no one were ever born with a disability.

It would also be much more expedient if nothing bad ever happened to anybody, ever.

But life is not like that. It's not like that for a reason. What a bunch of moral retards we would be if we never had to deal with a single problem! The fact is that dealing with problems is what makes us grow spiritually. Accepting bad things and making the best of them is perhaps the single most important thing we do every day. It is the underpinning of nearly every religion.

Like it or not, suffering is good for us...except when we're too blockheaded to let it.

Now, it is also true that Jesus healed a lot of people, and this is definitely a good thing. But his healing of people tells us more about life and goodness than just that: in each case, the suffering of those who endured these illnesses or disabilities was the fertile ground in which their faith grew to be great enough to allow Jesus to heal them. And Jesus even explicitly says that it was their faith that has healed them.

To those who see only evil in all disabilities, it seems obtuse to refuse to accept healing.

To those who see an element of God's will in those same disabilities, it seems to be a decision we're not entitled to make, without unforeseen consequences.

That doesn't mean we need to refuse every instance of giving assistance to those with disabilities. In this light, there is a difference--even if it only seems cosmetic--between giving a child a hearing aid, and actually changing their DNA. If we can afford to give a child a hearing aid, we ought to do so. But to change a person's DNA is big stuff, and carries a totally different moral weight as a result.

So now I try to apply this to my son's situation. Why does he have Asperger's? What has it done for all those who have come into contact with him? It has changed our lives in so many ways, both good and bad, I could write a whole essay on the subject. But what makes him the way he is? Is it the way God created him? Is it possible that it's just a matter of heavy metal poisoning? If so, and if removing the poison will restore him to what he was created to be, then is that not the right thing to do? Surely the answer is yes.

But if it is not merely a poisoning, which can be lifted--if it's not simply a matter of restoring something that is merely latent--if this is really the way he was created--then who am I to decide he should have been created differently?

Based on all of what I’ve said so far, it would be easy for someone who doesn’t know me to make judgments of me, thinking that I would use some "warm, fuzzy excuse" to avoid doing the best I can for my son. The truth is very, very far from this. Anyone who knows me will attest that I have gone to the mat for my son so far as to alienate even my own family. We never go to restaurants, and we can't even think about eating any food that has the slightest trace of starch in it, because by doing so, we have been able to help him be as close to normal as possible. Most people would swear he wasn't Aspergers. This is due to the amount of work we have done with him. We have spared no effort or expense, often to our own detriment.

And now we are considering going even further, investing time, money and effort in harnessing the power of clay to remove the poisons that cloud his brain. But if it doesn’t work, and it becomes clear that it would take a “golden bullet” like this Down Syndrome cure to change him, I don’t know if I would do that…

At the end of the day, there really is no single answer to the question. Instead, there are a whole lot of considerations that go far, far beyond mere expediency.
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The Dog ate my homework

2010-01-26T22:07:00.004-06:00

The date stamp on my blog entry from May keeps staring at me accusingly.

I’ve meant to post something, really I have, but I’ve been sooooo busy with other things, I just can’t seem to manage.

“Oh really?” It replies drily, “8 months, and nothing more than a single entry worthy of intruding into your busy schedule? And what can you possibly be sooooo busy with, may I ask? And don’t tell me it’s laundry, because we all know that’s out of the question.”

Hmmm…well, I could give you a list of what I’ve been doing, but it’s awfully long…

“Oh! A list! How rich! You’re so busy with things, you need a list! And what, pray tell, could possibly be on this list that you weren’t already doing before, when you still found time to post occasionally?”

Sigh.

OK, here goes.

We almost moved. We came so close that I actually filled a whole room with packed boxes. Then we didn’t move. I got to unpack all the boxes.
I began praying the Daily Office twice a day. Not satisfied with the 1970’s version I inherited from my grandfather, I replaced it with an old Latin-English breviary. And hey, I finally figured out that Mozart’s Vespers corresponds to what is prayed on Epiphany! That only took 9 years.
I quadrupled the size of my garden this year. Then the cold weather ensured an especially meager harvest.
We installed a new French door in the opening leading to our Living Room. I did all the plastering, sanding, staining and painting myself.
We bought a new unfinished bookcase, which I sanded, stained, sealed and filled with books.
While I was at it, I moved all of the bookcases into a different room along with all the books on them.
I completely reorganized all of our Montessori materials (and shelving) so that some could go in the now lockable Living Room, while leaving the materials for the younger children in the existing school room.
I couldn’t afford to buy a new Montessori Math Album, so I bartered my Latin Mass book as a way to bring the price down. Unfortunately, I hadn’t yet finished my Latin Mass book.
I had to finish my Latin Mass book. I did. It is very nice.
When my new Math album arrived, I had 600 pages to study.
Just as I was almost finished with my Latin Mass book, a thunderstorm fried our hard drive. I had backed up all the files for the book a mere week previous to the storm. You gotta know that was no accident…
Since DH was too busy at work to deal with the fried hard drive, all the work of diagnosis, repair and rebuilding was left to yours truly, who knows pretty close to zip about computer hardware. Software, sure. Writing books, yeah. Motherboards and cables? No.
Once the computer was rebuilt, I had to reinstall everything from scratch.
Then I had to see if anything was recoverable from the old hard disk. I had no luck.
I spent several days combing through sent e-mails, redownloading all the files I had shared with others. All I could think of was Ecclesiastes 11:1 “Cast thy bread upon the running waters: for after a long time thou shalt find it again.” I recovered a large majority of my work this way.
During all this time, I was maintaining a Yahoo group I started in February to collaborate on creating a working homeschool curriculum for Montessori Math. The group has well over 100 members from all over the world, and the project is slowly succeeding against all odds.
I was talked into taking a leadership role in our Little Flowers group (A sort of Catholic girl scouts). This is a monthly commitment.
At the same time, I decided we should better utilize the space our homeschool group rents from a local church every week. Like most people with big ideas and big mouths, I was nominated to be in charge of that. This has not only kept me busy every single Thursday afternoon, but has involved coordinating activities ranging from making rosaries and scapulars to game days and Shakespeare readings.
My 6yo son with Asperger’s syndrome finally got to the top of the waiting list for special needs piano lessons at a local college a half hour away. Now I get to bring him—and the whole troop—to his lessons weekly. But he is enjoying them…
I also decided to enroll my two eldest daughters in a ballet class…which is also about half an hour away. It’s a very good ballet school…and affordable to boot…
After committing to all these things, I then consented to host another newly created human being. As usual, the first trimester was very yucky. #6 is due in June.
I sewed costumes for the annual All Saints Day party…including a corset I’ve been meaning to make for Little Miss ‘It’s-not-tight-enough’ (my 7 year old).
I’ve joined a new choir which does some pretty awesome music, but it’s so small that I can’t get away with not learning my part well enough to lead the section. Let’s just say that my music reading skills have grown tenfold in the past 12 months.
I sang for my cousin’s wedding over Thanksgiving. I haven’t sung solo for a long time, and Bach and Mozart and Schubert are unrelenting. I recorded myself, but I haven’t been brave enough to listen to the recordings yet.
During all this time, we were on the SCD diet (which means no starches at all). We took a break from the torture for a few months over the summer and watched all our son’s progress get flushed down the tubes. He began stammering so badly he could scarcely get a sentence out. We couldn’t decide who was more miserable: him or us. We went back on the diet (though less strictly) and the stammering was gone within days.
In November, my friend’s daughter (a talented 15 year old artist) finished the illustrations for a children’s book I had written over a year ago. I threw it together and self-published it in about 2 weeks or so. So I now have published two books.
Around Christmas time, I realized, to my chagrin, that my kids knew very few Traditional Christmas carols other than the secular ones they learned in their Montessori school. I decided to make a compilation CD of as many of them as I could think of, sung by choirs (rather than pop stars). Oh, but it had to have a booklet of lyrics too, so they could follow along! I somehow finished this in time for Christmas.
In order to make room for the new baby, we had to move our youngest out of the nursery, which involved moving almost every bed in the house. Not to be left out, we moved our bed as well, in the hopes that I might be able to sleep in it. No such luck.
I finally found a doctor that doesn’t equate the idea of Electromagnetic Sensitivity with paranormal ghost sightings, and am attempting to take steps to strengthen my body against the constant daily onslaught. My body had weakened to the point where I was having frequent dizzy spells and was often too tired to do normal tasks. And this was before I got pregnant!

Now add all of that to the normal, everyday tasks every Mom has to do.

Ironically, during all that time, I had lots of ideas for great blog posts, but I either never got them typed in, or they got lost when my hard drive died. (Yes, a likely excuse, I know, but right now I’m trying to be thankful that I at least had backed up all my digital photos and videos a few months prior to the loss, so we only lost a few months’ worth.) I will be attempting to resurrect some of these scribblings as I am able. But for now, at least I’ve logged some attempt at an excuse for not having posted in so long.

I don’t seem to hear any more sarcasm from the blog, so I guess my list was sufficient to silence him. What do you think?

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An open letter to the frustrated homeschooler

2009-12-19T01:07:00.002-06:00

'Tis the season for nervous breakdowns, especially for homeschoolers who have gotten derailed from their September bliss...a very dear friend of mine has been struggling mightily lately, and wrote for advice.

It took me a while to know what to say to her, because I scarcely feel qualified, being much less successful in any of these areas than I ought to be, but at the same time, I was compelled to offer what I could. I'd like to share with you my response:

Dear N,

I apologize that I have not responded to you sooner. After receiving your telephone message last Thursday, I could sense the growing frustration and even desperation in your voice and I knew you needed comfort and support, and I was not in proper condition to give it. I myself have been very drained, and my own frustrations with my children have left me feeling not far different from you…I felt I did not have any answers to share, only commiseration, which is not entirely helpful.

I have been thinking and praying about it a great deal, though, and I so deeply feel your pain and frustration. My children have also been running wild and leaving me feeling utterly powerless to do anything about it. I feel like lately not a day has gone by that I haven’t ended up screaming at them—and of course, regretting it.

And then this morning, when I was saying Lauds, I came across one of my favorite passages, from 2 Corinthians 12:

“For though I should have a mind to glory, I shall not be foolish; for I will say the truth. But I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth in me, or any thing he heareth from me. And lest the greatness of the revelations should exalt me, there was given me a sting of my flesh, an angel of Satan, to buffet me. For which thing thrice I besought the Lord, that it might depart from me. And he said to me: My grace is sufficient for thee; for power is made perfect in infirmity. Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. For which cause I please myself in my infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ. For when I am weak, then am I powerful.”

I feel like this all the time. And I always fail to remember to rejoice in my weakness, so that God can do the work. Which, of course, reminded me of my other favorite quote, from 1 Thessalonians 5:

“Always rejoice. Pray without ceasing. In all things give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you all.”

One of the things that helps center me when I feel like I am thrashing wildly against the world is to re-read the book “The Hiding Place” by Corrie Ten Boom. Her example of holiness in the face of pure evil is so inspiring to me. This quote was very powerful in her life, as she learned to give thanks even for the fleas in her barracks. If you’ve never read it, I can’t recommend it strongly enough, and I have an extra copy you can borrow.

But either way, remember this from Hebrews 12:

“For think diligently upon him that endured such opposition from sinners against himself; that you be not wearied, fainting in your minds….My son, neglect not the discipline of the Lord; neither be thou wearied whilst thou art rebuked by him.

For whom the Lord loveth, he chastiseth; and he scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Persevere under discipline. God dealeth with you as with his sons; for what son is there, whom the father doth not correct? But if you be without chastisement, whereof all are made partakers, then are you bastards, and not sons... Now all chastisement for the present indeed seemeth not to bring with it joy, but sorrow: but afterwards it will yield, to them that are exercised by it, the most peaceable fruit of justice. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, And make straight steps with your feet: that no one, halting, may go out of the way; but rather be healed.”

When you are feeling beaten down, know that it is because you are fighting that same uphill battle that every Christian who would remain faithful must fight. It is the most important and the most difficult struggle there is. But we are not helpless, even though it often seems like it. Think of the despair the apostles felt when they put Jesus to death. They didn’t understand how necessary it was that Jesus die in order to save us. Likewise, we must undergo all sorts of chastisement so that we can die to ourselves and let Christ’s will work through us:

“Be you humbled therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in the time of visitation: Casting all your care upon him, for he hath care of you.” (1 Peter 5)

As far as the kids and school go, really, your greatest priority with them is to lead them in God’s ways, and the rest is secondary in importance. Being great scholars will not bring them closer to the Kingdom of Heaven, and the strife of what is happening now most assuredly will only bring them further away from it. I think you would be wise to step back and take a little time to rest, refocus and try again when the time is right.

I also think that it is impossible to have firmness in some areas of their lives, if the firmness in other areas is not consistent. Please do not take this as a judgement, but only loving advice from someone who has the same problem and is always trying to correct it. :)

I would recommend to you that if you want to make it clear to them that you expect obedience and perseverance in their school work, they need to experience the same expectations in all areas of their lives. They need firm guidance, boundaries and responsibilities. Talk with them about your responsibilities to them (which come from God) and their responsibilities to you (which are extensions of the same). Examine carefully all of the aspects of their discipline in following you, and find the weakest points, and work on those. Once you do, I think the other areas will improve as well.

Honestly, I would totally put schooling on hold while you deal with these issues, partially so that you don’t stress yourself out, and partially because these issues are the foundation on which Peace in your home will be built. Allow yourself the time to do what needs to be done for the sake of this peace. Make those things which stand in the way of their submission to God’s will (through you) be enemy #1, whether that means unplugging the TV, keeping all food in the house under lock and key, removing toys, you name it. If it is a stumbling block, it must be removed.

And lastly, but not least, I cannot emphasize strongly enough the importance of constant prayer. It is sometimes hard to find the right time and the right words, and that is the great beauty of the Divine Office, also called the Liturgy of the Hours. Not only does it place the beauty of prayer and contemplation in your hands, it carries an even greater benefit: you are praying in concert with the entire Church when you recite the office.

It may seem absurd, when you are already weighted down by everything else that must be done, to think of adding one more responsibility into your busy schedule. I never believed I could manage to make time. But as soon as I started trying it, I found it to be such an immense comfort and joy, that by now, no matter how busy I am, no matter how late I've stayed up, it's unthinkable for me to fall into bed without saying Vespers and Compline. (Yes, I prefer to say them together in preparation for bed...) Honestly, the benefits, while seeming invisible, are immense, and they bring great peace and strength.

It goes without saying that the daily Rosary is very powerful and important too. There is, however, a subtle difference between the Rosary, where the prayers are, to a great extent, supplications, and the Divine Office, which is centered around the Psalms, and tends to focus a little more strongly on praise. I feel at peace, humbled, and joyful when I recite these prayers, knowing that I am taking my place as a dutiful child, ready to rejoice in submitting to His will.

May God bless you in your endeavors, so that they may bear good fruit. Your family will be in our prayers.

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The Walrus and the Carpenter

2009-05-18T23:03:00.007-05:00

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done--
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead--
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"

"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head--
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat--
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed--
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed."

"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said.
"Do you admire the view?

"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf--
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

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More on the Notre Dame Scandal...

2009-05-13T20:49:00.004-05:00

Though I try not to get caught up in scandals, the issue with Notre Dame is close to my heart. As a graduate, I know the prevailing atmosphere there, and it has deteriorated since my time. When we talk about sending our children there, I cringe. I don't want them in the same environment that helped convince me to leave the church. For this reason, I feel it necessary to speak out on this issue, as it is for me a microcosm of what has been happening at Notre Dame for the past generation or two.

Today, Notre Dame forwarded to me a letter that was sent to all the Notre Dame graduates. Here is an excerpt:

The decision to invite President Obama to Notre Dame to receive an honorary degree and deliver the Commencement address has triggered debate. In many cases, the debate has grown heated, even between people who agree completely on Church teaching regarding the sanctity of human life, who agree completely that we should work for change – and differ only on how we should work for change.
Yet, there has been an extra dimension to your debate. You have discussed this issue with each other while being observed, interviewed, and evaluated by people who are interested in this story. You engaged each other with passion, intelligence and respect. And I saw no sign that your differences led to division. You inspire me. We need the wider society to be more like you; it is good that we are sending you into that world on Sunday.
I am saddened that many friends of Notre Dame have suggested that our invitation to President Obama indicates ambiguity in our position on matters of Catholic teaching. The University and I are unequivocally committed to the sanctity of human life and to its protection from conception to natural death.
Notre Dame has a long custom of conferring honorary degrees on the President of the United States. It has never been a political statement or an endorsement of policy. It is the University’s expression of respect for the leader of the nation and the Office of the President. In the Catholic tradition, our first allegiance is to God in Christ, yet we are called to respect, participate in, and contribute to the wider society. As St. Peter wrote (I Pt. 2:17), we should honor the leader who upholds the secular order.
At the same time, and born of the same duty, a Catholic university has a special obligation not just to honor the leader but to engage the culture. Carrying out this role of the Catholic university has never been easy or without controversy. When I was an undergraduate at Notre Dame, Fr. Hesburgh spoke of the Catholic university as being both a lighthouse and a crossroads. As a lighthouse, we strive to stand apart and be different, illuminating issues with the moral and spiritual wisdom of the Catholic tradition. Yet, we must also be a crossroads through which pass people of many different perspectives, backgrounds, faiths, and cultures. At this crossroads, we must be a place where people of good will are received with charity, are able to speak, be heard, and engage in responsible and reasoned dialogue.
The President’s visit to Notre Dame can help lead to broader engagement on issues of importance to the country and of deep significance to Catholics. Ultimately, I hope that the conversations and the good will that come from this day will contribute to closer relations between Catholics and public officials who make decisions on matters of human life and human dignity.
There is much to admire and celebrate in the life and work of President Obama. His views and policies on immigration, expanding health care, alleviating poverty, and building peace through diplomacy have a deep resonance with Catholic social teaching. As the first African-American holder of this office, he has accelerated our country’s progress in overcoming the painful legacy of slavery and segregation. He is a remarkable figure in American history, and I look forward to welcoming him to Notre Dame.

My response to this is predictable, as you know how I love to pick apart poor logic. I wrote the office of the president at Notre Dame the following:

Dear Father Jenkins,

I received a copy of the letter you have sent to the graduating class regarding the controversy surrounding President Obama's speech. I think that your comments would make sense if you were merely inviting him to speak--but that is not the most serious issue here. An argument based solely on the long-standing custom of conferring honorary degrees on presidents holds little water. Such an excuse could have easily been used by a German Catholic university to confer such an honor on Chancellor Hitler in 1938, and would have been a grave error then, just as it is now. To confer an honorary degree is not merely an honor; it is in essence an act of wrapping its recipient in Our Lady's blue mantle, with all that may entail. No one would suggest, in hindsight, that it would have been wise to confer an honor of this sort on a man such as Hitler became.

Nor did he ever make a secret of his aims. Our current President has likewise made his aims clear, and to embrace him in this way shows more than just poor judgment; despite all protestation to the contrary, it does indeed serve as a tacit approval of this man's policies, both current and future. The day may come, as it did for those who trusted Hitler, that we will rue such a decision for many years to come.

Please understand that I am not inferring that Obama is another Hitler; only that the policies of Hitler were quite obviously incompatible with Church teaching, yet the leadership of the Church took the same stance you are taking, and did not rebuff him. We still bear the brunt of this neglect, as evidenced by reaction to the Pope's current trip to Jerusalem. To engage leaders that hold views such as Mr. Obama's requires not honorary degrees but a willingness to stand our ground as people of exceptional and unbending moral character. Any less is just appeasement.

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War, weapons and right

2009-04-08T23:56:00.003-05:00

The world we live in right now and the leaders who govern it (or is govern the right word???) call to mind a bit of wisdom that is understood by few and scarcely dreamt of by most.

A perfect paradigm for teaching this wisdom lies in the current initiative by President Obama to eliminate all nuclear weapons, in the name of consistency, good will and a wholly Christian sense of peacemaking.

I applaud the sentiment, for it indeed seems just, as none can possibly deny a) the hypocrisy of denying other nations access to them; b) the absolute horror that nuclear weapons embody; and c) that we ought, as Christians, to promote peace and good will among all the nations. Blessed are the peacemakers and all that.

The conundrum, however, is this: as a single person, one ought rightly to observe one’s conscience and the teachings of the church in dealing with others. Likewise, a group of people retain a collective conscience, which is ideally a homogenous patchwork of morality and right. But when that group is expanded to the size of a nation, the proportion between the constituents and those governing it becomes tenuous, and—unless buttressed by the pillars of strength that are faith and morality—the ability of the whole organism to maintain that collective conscience erodes.

Moreover, in accepting the governance of a group of such size, one is bound to no longer rely solely on his own conscience in matters of right and wrong—he must, in matters of importance to the state, regularly submit to the collective conscience, whether it is voiced by ballots or by royal council. This voice demands both safety and justice. Therefore he must, at times, employ such means as necessary to achieve these ends, or risk both the stability of his country as well as his reign. Unlike our only true Father, for whom both means and ends are one, the earthly ruler is often bedeviled by these details…for if Christians lived and died wholly by Christ’s teachings, we would surely be extinct.

Though a ruler be just and good, though he be upright in all things, yet when the devil knocks, he must choose between his country…and his soul…

My kingdom is not of this world, said Jesus when questioned by Pilate. As his death approached, he proclaimed: Now is the judgment of the world: now shall the prince of this world be cast out. (Jn 12:31)

If Christ is not the prince of this world, then we must understand who the prince of this world is, and we must understand that to be a ruler means to serve under this prince. This is why Christ exhorted us:

And call none your father upon earth; for one is your father, who is in heaven. Neither be ye called masters; for one is your master, Christ. (Mt 23:9-10)

Pray, then, for our leaders, and for the people that they govern, that we may not suffer the end of those who have not faith:

Jesus therefore said to them: If God were your Father, you would indeed love me. For from God I proceeded, and came; for I came not of myself, but he sent me: Why do you not know my speech? Because you cannot hear my word. You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and he stood not in the truth; because truth is not in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father thereof. (Jn 8:42-44)

Pilate therefore said to him: Art thou a king then? Jesus answered: Thou sayest that I am a king. For this was I born, and for this came I into the world; that I should give testimony to the truth. Every one that is of the truth, heareth my voice.

Pilate saith to him: What is truth? (Jn 18:37-38)

By their fruits you shall know them. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit, and the evil tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can an evil tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit, shall be cut down, and shall be cast into the fire. (Mt 7:16-19)

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So hard to remember, so easy to forget...

2009-04-07T01:06:00.006-05:00

When bad things happen, what do you do?

Even the most prayerful among us cannot help but react in more or less the same way when troubles set in: we seek to avoid them, we fret over them, and we bemoan our fate. Many wonder why, if God is so great, does He allow terrible things to happen? Doesn’t He care? Is it possible that He cannot control these things?

The most common explanation for these questions has to do with free will, and Adam’s fall, and the introduction of pain and suffering as a consequence. This is a valid and important component in understanding human suffering; however, there is another equally important component that is often overlooked, because it is much more difficult to comprehend. It involves a radical re-thinking of our understanding of pain and suffering.

Our God…is a God of exquisite suffering.

OK, that’s a rather shocking suggestion, in part because it smacks of accusing God of being a sadist. Our minds naturally rebel against the mere suggestion that suffering could be good, much less the suggestion that suffering plays a part in the nature of our God. The idea is so far contrary to common sense that we never even consider such a thing. Yet if we allow ourselves to explore this idea, we find that it is nearly impossible to deny.

…He will reign on David's throne…(2 Sam 7:16)

Christ was the long-awaited Messiah: many had expected that He would deliver them--not just spiritually, but physically--from the yoke of the pagan Romans. Like his forefather David, he would be a great warrior who would establish a new and glorious kingdom.

Yet how could Our Lord employ violence? How is it possible that God himself could commit sin, whether by lying, stealing or killing? Though he clothed himself in a mantle of weakness by becoming human, it is inconceivable that he could accomplish the salvation of all people by the sword.

…for all that take the sword shall perish with the sword. Thinkest thou that I cannot ask my Father, and he will give me presently more than twelve legions of angels? How then shall the scriptures be fulfilled, that so it must be done? (Matthew 26:52-54)

Instead, he was led as a sheep to the slaughter and made to suffer insult, injury and ignominious death. So then if suffering were truly evil, how could Christ have submitted to such a thing?

Moreover, of all the might at His disposal, why should our Lord choose such submission as the means of our salvation? Surely He would have preferred an easier way! Rather, Christ desired this path of redemption precisely because suffering is the natural consequence of all the things that Christ himself instructed us to do:

But I say to you that hear: Love your enemies, do good to them that hate you. Bless them that curse you, and pray for them that calumniate you. And to him that striketh thee on the one cheek, offer also the other. And him that taketh away from thee thy cloak, forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every one that asketh thee, and of him that taketh away thy goods, ask them not again.

And as you would that men should do to you, do you also to them in like manner. And if you love them that love you, what thanks are to you? for sinners also love those that love them. And if you do good to them who do good to you, what thanks are to you? for sinners also do this. And if you lend to them of whom you hope to receive, what thanks are to you? for sinners also lend to sinners, for to receive as much. But love ye your enemies: do good, and lend, hoping for nothing thereby: and your reward shall be great, and you shall be the sons of the Highest; for he is kind to the unthankful, and to the evil.

Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you shall be forgiven. Give, and it shall be given to you: good measure and pressed down and shaken together and running over shall they give into your bosom. For with the same measure that you shall mete withal, it shall be measured to you again.

Luke 6:27-38

Could anyone hope to follow such instructions without being made both pauper and laughingstock? Yet all of these things Christ himself did, and He exhorted all who would listen to do the same, time and again.

…Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are ye when they shall revile you, and persecute you, and speak all that is evil against you, untruly, for my sake: Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is very great in heaven. For so they persecuted the prophets that were before you.

Matthew 5: 11-12

The entire New Testament teems with examples of Christ’s teachings on the subject. Surely Christ regarded suffering as a necessary “evil” for the salvation of our souls! Surely no one of passing familiarity with scripture would argue otherwise. The early Christian martyrs, the desert hermits, the Church Fathers, the monastics—all of these understood this perfectly.

Yet all of us, when we attempt to put Christ’s words into practice, fail again and again, because our common sense continues to be unable to take insult after insult, to forgive “70 times 7 times”, to give until it hurts. Surely we must take some self-preservation into account!

Here we are forced to realize that though all these things seem bad to us because of our human condition, these things are not evil in the eyes of God, nor do they truly cause suffering to those who no longer are imprisoned by the flesh.

But this still does not necessarily mean that the nature of God Himself is one of suffering—only that it is necessary for us as humans to suffer if we wish to gain eternal life. How can we interpolate further? To truly understand this concept would require a library and a lifetime…so any hopes of fully explaining it in a mere blog post are beyond impossible. I will briefly touch on the subject, but if you are interested in more on the subject, you’ll need that library…

The people that walked in Darkness…

The best way I can possibly describe this concept in brief is…light. We are not strangers to the concept of light as a symbol of the divine, from “Let there be light” to “the light of the world” to the tongues of flame that came to rest on the disciples’ heads at Pentecost. Nearly every religion associates light with divinity, and for good reason. Without light, there would be no life, no warmth, no energy…it is that without which nothing else could be.

But light has another very interesting property: it is opposite, but not equal to, darkness. By this I mean that, though you can shine a light into a dark room, you can not shine a dark into a light room. Light has a positive nature. The only way to escape from the sunlight is to block it with something, from a parasol to a planet. Darkness is merely the lack of light. (To say that it has a negative nature would make it sound equal and opposite, as in math…so rather than giving it that name, we might call it imperfect. Aristotle called the positive actual and the imperfect potential…) It is easy to see how we can draw parallels between this sort of positive nature and divinity.

There are many other things on this earth which share this sort of nature…heat, energy…even life itself will persist unless stopped. It is even possible to loosely claim that goodness and evil are like light and dark; however, the nuances that exist within both words are very tricky, and do not always work out as we would expect. Suffering happens to be one of those things, as it is normally—and naturally—lumped in with evil. But if we look at suffering, we find that perhaps it is not so.

For example, we said that escaping from the sun required some sort of blockage. At first glance, we might naturally assume that suffering is due to a blockage of health or well-being. But which one actually does something? And which one has something done to it? The light dispels the darkness, not the other way ‘round…heat travels from warm areas to cool areas…and illness, pain, heartache…they disrupt the equilibrium of health and well being and contentment. Like force upon a body at rest, it is suffering that acts upon our frail humanity.

Yes, I didn’t believe it at first either, but the more I questioned it, the more certain I became: Suffering, like light, is positive in nature…and like all things positive in nature, has its true source in the Divine.

The antithesis of Pandora

Think about our example of the sun again: its light is so intense that it has the ability to blind us. Likewise, the heat and energy it produces can be punishing. Even though they are essentially good and necessary, our bodies are often unable to tolerate those things of positive nature in too great intensity. It is exactly so with suffering.

However, when our souls leave our bodies, light and heat and suffering shall not cease to exist for us—but because we are not encountering them with our bodies, our experience of them will not be the same. We shall then be able to see clearly how every instance of suffering opens for us an avenue of spiritual growth, healing and redemption.

We are now like those who, accustomed to a dark room, squint and curse at the bright sunlight. The nature of our sinfulness—of our bondage to Satan—makes us recoil at the helping hand that suffering brings. When our all-too-human desire for comfort causes us to recoil at suffering, we are unknowingly recoiling from God’s grace.

For yes, suffering is pure unadulterated grace.

Only when we manage to put our instinct for self-preservation aside do we succeed in turning the other cheek. Only when we continually put ourselves last—without complaining—do we succeed in continually putting others first. Only when we give everything we have do we succeed in taking up our cross as Christ commanded. And only when we welcome suffering do we receive this enormously healing grace, not merely for ourselves, but for all. Impossible, you say? Well, naturally!

And in the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God…To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel being come in, said unto her: Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. Who having heard, was troubled at his saying, and thought with herself what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said to her: Fear not, Mary, for thou hast found grace with God.

Behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and shalt bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name Jesus…And Mary said to the angel: How shall this be done, because I know not man? And the angel answering, said to her: The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the most High shall overshadow thee. And therefore also the Holy which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.

And behold thy cousin Elizabeth, she also hath conceived a son in her old age; and this is the sixth month with her that is called barren: Because no word shall be impossible with God. And Mary said: Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to thy word.

(Luke 1: 26-38)

Fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum.

With these words, Mary brought into this world God’s own son. If this was possible, then even our own tiny little ‘fiats’ can bring untold grace into the darkness of this world. When we get the sniffles, we can say ‘fiat’-- Thy will be done, Lord. When we are bedridden with double pneumonia, it is quite a bit harder to say, but the harder it is, the more grace there is waiting. When our lives are crashing down on all sides…when we face anger, guilt, despair…when our loved ones don’t treat us as they should…when we are reviled and persecuted and slandered…we must learn to see the hand of God--not punishing us, but reaching out to us. Mary didn’t have to say ‘fiat’, and neither do we. But by doing so, she became Queen of Heaven, mother and mediatrix to the human race. And in a small way, we too participate in God’s plan for our salvation by accepting our crosses…with a kiss.

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Some light reading for you...

2009-04-02T21:40:00.001-05:00

OK, for those who will only use the Douay-Rheims Bible, this may not be in your book, but I understand it can be found in the vulgate as 4 Esdras? The following quotes are from the Revised Standard Version, which was the only version I could find. Link here. In this version, the following excerpts are listed as 2 Esdras chapter 15 and 16. I highly recommend reading the whole thing, but here are some particularly interesting quotes:

“…Do not fear the plots against you, and do not be troubled by the unbelief of those who oppose you. For every unbeliever shall die in his unbelief."
"Behold," says the Lord, "I bring evils upon the world, the sword and famine and death and destruction. For iniquity has spread throughout every land, and their harmful deeds have reached their limit. (2 Esdras 15:3-6)

Let the farmers that till the ground mourn, because their seed shall fail and their trees shall be ruined by blight and hail and by a terrible tempest.
Alas for the world and for those who live in it!
For the sword and misery draw near them, and nation shall rise up to fight against nation, with swords in their hands.
For there shall be unrest among men; growing strong against one another, they shall in their might have no respect for their king or the chief of their leaders.
For a man will desire to go into a city, and shall not be able.
For because of their pride the cities shall be in confusion, the houses shall be destroyed, and people shall be afraid.
A man shall have no pity upon his neighbors, but shall make an assault upon their houses with the sword, and plunder their goods, because of hunger for bread and because of great tribulation. (2 Esdras 15:13-19)

The nations of the dragons of Arabia shall come out with many chariots, and from the day that they set out, their hissing shall spread over the earth, so that all who hear them fear and tremble.
Also the Carmonians**, raging in wrath, shall go forth like wild boars of the forest, and with great power they shall come, and engage them in battle, and shall devastate a portion of the land of the Assyrians with their teeth.
And then the dragons, remembering their origin, shall become still stronger; and if they combine in great power and turn to pursue them, then these shall be disorganized and silenced by their power, and shall turn and flee.
And from the land of the Assyrians an enemy in ambush shall beset them and destroy one of them, and fear and trembling shall come upon their army, and indecision upon their kings.
Behold, clouds from the east, and from the north to the south; and their appearance is very threatening, full of wrath and storm.
They shall dash against one another and shall pour out a heavy tempest upon the earth, and their own tempest; and there shall be blood from the sword as high as a horse's belly and a man's thigh and a camel's hock.
And there shall be fear and great trembling upon the earth; and those who see that wrath shall be horror-stricken, and they shall be seized with trembling. (2 Esdras 15:29-37)

Behold, provision will be so cheap upon earth that men will imagine that peace is assured for them, and then the calamities shall spring up on the earth -- the sword, famine, and great confusion.
For many of those who live on the earth shall perish by famine; and those who survive the famine shall die by the sword.
And the dead shall be cast out like dung, and there shall be no one to console them; for the earth shall be left desolate, and its cities shall be demolished.
No one shall be left to cultivate the earth or to sow it.
The trees shall bear fruit, and who will gather it?
The grapes shall ripen, and who will tread them? For in all places there shall be great solitude; one man will long to see another, or even to hear his voice.
For out of a city, ten shall be left; and out of the field, two who have hidden themselves in thick groves and clefts in the rocks.
As in an olive orchard three or four olives may be left on every tree, or as when a vineyard is gathered some clusters may be left by those who search carefully through the vineyard, so in those days three or four shall be left by those who search their houses with the sword. (2 Esdras 16: 21-31)

As Holy Week approaches, we should be mindful that our Lord says, “Such as I love, I rebuke and chastise. Be zealous therefore, and do penance.” (Apocalypse 3:19) Then let us remind ourselves to rejoice in all circumstances, as our Lord chastises us for love’s sake.

**Carmania was located in what is now Iran. Assyria at its height covered everything from Iraq westward to the Mediterranean sea and part of Egypt, Arabia and Turkey.

How is this not abundantly obvious???

2009-03-31T15:31:00.005-05:00

Though I always preface all of my comments regarding the economy with the disclaimer that I am such a poor economist that I couldn't keep to a budget if my life depended on it, I also insist that this detachment keeps me from being muddled. After all, does it really take a genius to see that we've had this coming for a long time?

Case in point: I have been arguing my point of view quite a lot lately, all of it falling on deaf ears. Every time I felt I desperately needed a big dry erase board so that I could illustrate what I am talking about. Rather than having to make drawings, I have culled a few charts to help me here.

Our first chart here shows the history of the Dow Jones Industrial Average, from 1885 to the present. Do you see that little blip around '29-'32? Yep, that's the Great Depression. It looks like nothing compared with the runup that started in the '80s and is on its way down now. The precipitous rise was hampered for a while by 9/11/01, as you can see, but was aggressively resuscitated. Those who are still in denial, are naiively optimistic, or are simply not being intellectually honest continue to insist that with more aggressive resuscitation, we will recover again and somehow maintain this unbelievable high...Now here's the same chart, though it only goes as far as 2004 and it is calculated logarithmically--meaning that the meteoric rise you saw in that first chart is compressed significantly. I like the fact that the person who made this chart has demonstrated what I have repeatedly pointed out. No matter how dramatic the rises and falls, they tend to go in periods...the upward growth is relatively smooth...but the periods that follow this upward growth are chaotic, having a jagged or 'roller coaster' effect. It is during these periods that people suffered the most. The sacred cow "free market" always eventually fixed these problems (though, if this chart is right, it takes between 10 and 20 years...), but what happened to the real people on stage while the free market did its work behind the scenes? What happened to the average standard of living? What happened to crime levels during these periods? How did people cope with all of this? These are the questions we need to be asking right now.

Regardless of whether the Obama Administration does everything in its power (at which I tremble...); regardless of whether or not the free market will always correct itself if it is allowed to do so; regardless of how far we fall and how fast, what will help us most right now is to understand what life was like during those red phases. There were lots of casualties, both figuratively and literally. We have got to face this fact, the sooner the better.

Here's another example to reinforce my insistence that when markets become unsustainable, they have no choice but to correct themselves. This sounds fine in theory, but this is what a correction typically looks like; and the higher the rise, the greater the fall. These two charts show the 1929 Stock market crash and the Nasdaq crash in the late '90s/early '00s. We have every reason to expect our chart to look like this. However, if you look back up at that first chart, at how we shot up into the stratosphere over the past three decades, the prospect of what is to come becomes rather frightening. If our chart is going to look like these ones, we've got a long way to go before we hit bottom!

But I believe that the next chart is the most telling of all, and it is the main reason why I've been predicting this for over ten years. This chart shows the level of personal household debt compared with our Nation's Gross Domestic Product:Our level of personal debt grew very significantly during the '80s, but then in the late '90s it shot way up and has by now broken the 100% line. This means that our personal debt--our mortgages, credit cards, etc--exceeds our earning capacity. This doesn't even take into account our government's national debt. When did this precarious situation last occur? You guessed it--the late '20s. And the graph more or less mirrors the ones we've been looking at above...

Surely you are getting the picture. There is a reason why, historically, graphs with huge upswings are followed by huge downswings. It's pure and simple common sense. If I have to explain it to you, you must be an economist.

...See that ye be not troubled. For these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.
(Matthew 24:6)

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An open letter to Notre Dame

2009-03-23T15:31:00.004-05:00

Dear Father Jenkins,

It has come to my attention that not only will President Barack Obama will be the principal speaker at Notre Dame’s commencement Ceremony on May 17, but he will also receive an honorary doctor of laws degree. As a Notre Dame Alumna, I fail to understand how this could be so. Is it accurate to say that Notre Dame is Catholic, or has it fallen prey to the secular humanism that prevails in our misguided society?

As Catholics, we are bound not only to be salt and light to the world, but we must further resist the temptation to follow the mores of the rest of the world. "Adulterers, know you not that the friendship of this world is the enemy of God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of this world, becometh an enemy of God," spoke James in his epistle. Shall Notre Dame be friends with this world, bestowing its honors upon a man who has proved himself to be an enemy of the unborn? I know what words our Lord would use to describe such an act, but out of respect for the remnant of a University I once loved, I will not use them here.

To say that I am disappointed scarcely describes the sensation of disgust nor the heartfelt sorrow when I consider that what was once a beacon of Catholic truth to the world has become as salt without flavor: "...wherewith shall it be salted? It is good for nothing any more but to be cast out, and to be trodden on by men." (Matthew 5:13) This is what Notre Dame's reputation for worldliness has done for it. You may congratulate yourselves that our President has agreed to honor you with his presence.

Those of us, however, who love God and His laws more than we do any President, shall weep. For you cannot have both the honor of a man who said he would allow his daughters to have an abortion rather than 'punish them with a baby' and also have the honor of Him who said "...he that shall receive one such little child in my name, receiveth me. But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:5-6)

We shall continue to pray that the University will demonstrate its commitment to the teachings of the Catholic Church with regard to this matter. technorati

Am I the only one who sees this coming???

2009-01-08T14:15:00.003-06:00

I'm going to go out on a limb and say what surely others must also be seeing: the invasion of Gaza is glaringly obvious as a sham. The whole point of the invasion is only marginally about rockets and Hamas and Israel's security.

Israel is calling everyone's bluff, not because they think everyone is bluffing, but because they want the game to move ahead. They have begun World War III.

They're tired of posturing and chest-beating. They need an excuse to attack proto-nuclear Iran, and this is the most plausible. They know that there's a whole host of nations who will be unable to avoid getting involved as it spirals out of control, and they're OK with that.

And there are so many countries who are equally well waiting for an excuse to start dogpiling each other. This is going to be like a barroom brawl on a colossal scale. It's going to make both WWI and WWII look like wii.
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Government...of the people...

2009-01-05T00:07:00.005-06:00

As is often the case, the very night I wrote my last post, I stumbled across a bible verse that was singularly appropriate:

Hear me, ye men of Sichem, so may God hear you.

The trees went to anoint a king over them: and they said to the olive tree: Reign thou over us.

And it answered: Can I leave my fatness, which both gods and men make use of, to come to be promoted among the trees?

And the trees said to the fig tree: Come thou and reign over us.

And it answered them: Can I leave my sweetness, and my delicious fruits, and go to be promoted among the other trees?

And the trees said to the vine: Come thou and reign over us.

And it answered them: Can I forsake my wine, that cheereth God and men, and be promoted among the other trees?

And all the trees said to the bramble: Come thou and reign over us.

And it answered them: If indeed you mean to make me king, come ye and rest under my shadow: but if you mean it not, let fire come out from the bramble, and devour the cedars of Libanus.

Now therefore if you have done well, and without sin in appointing Abimelech king over you, and have dealt well with Jerobaal, and with his house, and have made a suitable return for the benefits of him who fought for you,…rejoice ye this day in Abimelech, and may he rejoice in you. But if unjustly: let fire come out from him, and consume the inhabitants of Sichem, and the town of Mello: and let fire come out from the men of Sichem, and from the town of Mello, and devour Abimelech.

(Judges 9:7-20)

(Abimelech was one of the sons of Gideon (also called Jerubaal), who convinced his fellow Sichemites to appoint him as their ruler when Gideon died. In doing so, he killed all seventy of his half-brothers…except Jotham, the one who spoke the above words before escaping.

Jotham's curse indeed came true: Abimelech decimated Sichem, and in the process got a millstone dropped on his head…by a woman.)

The noble and upright—the olive, the fig and the vine--are those who form the bedrock of society. Their greatest gift is not in wielding power over others, but in producing good fruit.

But the brambles, producers of no good or useful thing, in whose flourishing these others languish, are quite content to usurp and to subdue.

Our elections have presented us with no olives, no figs, no vines. Again and again, we are forced to choose from among the brambles. And we can only expect that these brambles will fulfill their destiny of bringing about their own destruction while consuming even the great cedars of Lebanon. And we have chosen them.

We have chosen them…

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Government? What Government?

2009-01-02T22:49:00.006-06:00

Mr. Smith went to Washington, but Nixon still got caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Both the Richard Daleys were/are so crooked, it’s amazing they don’t walk sideways. Clinton endured impeachment hearings for his shenanigans, Gore took his election to the Supreme Court. California has the ability to put referendums on the ballot, but not the backbone to enforce the will of the people. Now Al Frankenstein is making a monster of himself in Minnesota, and the Scarecrow Governor Blago--who hasn’t got a brain--has Brer Rabbit Rush trying to cram Aunt Jemima Burris down our throats.

So my question is…

…does anyone actually have the slightest faith in our government anymore???

If so, WHY?????

govern—a verb

1. to exercise authority over; to control and direct the making and administration of policy in

2. to control the actions or conduct of; to hold in check

There are a few other meanings, but these two are the ones which concern us. Is it possible for the first to have any real meaning if the second is ignored?

How can one govern a country (or state, or city) if one cannot govern oneself?

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Grab a pitchfork, grow some virtue.

2008-12-12T00:15:00.005-06:00

OK, I’m about to say something incredibly unpopular to all those out there who have come to depend on easy access to the foods they want and need, including the segment that relies on farm-fresh food co-ops.

News flash: we are heading into a “slowdown” that all the talking heads keep comparing to the Great Depression. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take a genius to see that our world is radically different from the way it was in 1929. This is not a “slowdown” or a “recession” or any other softball term the press and the powers-that-be are desperately trying to throw at it. What is now happening is something that no one now living has ever experienced before.

Our entire way of life is about to change very, very drastically. This change is going to be so huge that no one has the slightest ability at the present moment to accurately predict, nor even imagine, its breadth or its depth--despite some very good guesses.

Anyone who wants to complain about being deprived of their constitutional right to the food they want to eat—healthy or not, simple or exotic, raw or plasticized—is welcome to do so, but this complaining is merely a way of attempting to evade the responsibility laid upon us when we left Eden.

We have been separated from the firsthand production of food for so many generations that not only has the skill been forgotten, but we consider it our birthright to be able to live where we choose, how we choose, doing what we choose, and to simply pay for everything by working at what we choose. This has been the norm for what seem like ages: why would we view the world any other way?

So aside from a few backyard tomatoes or strawberries, we scarcely expend any firsthand toil for our food supply--until it is suddenly disrupted by power outages, or droughts and shortages, or raids and seizures by various government authorities. Then we complain and blame and point angry fingers and become rather indignant. But in truth, we have only ourselves—and the generations immediately preceding us—to blame.

Over and over again, we have chosen to divorce ourselves from the land, from the nurturing of life that sustains life, to the point where we are occasionally deluded enough to demand that our lives be sustained by other means. This choice--however natural it may seem within the context of our society--is nevertheless a choice to forsake the virtue inherent in producing one’s own food.

Food production is more than a business, and access to food is dependent upon more than merely supply and demand. Surely we learned that lesson with the shortages we experienced over the past year. But likewise, our expectation that we ought to be free to make a living making nothing more than money—with which we can buy necessities like food—is based on nothing more than the tenuous relationship between an unsustainable urban population, unsustainable agricultural methods, and unsustainable methods of distribution.

When we read the bible, we invariably find an absolute continuity between man, animal and land. In fact, we often fail to appreciate the enormity of some of the feats described therein because of our ignorance of this bond. We have been liberated from the slavery of living by the sweat of our brows. But in return, we have been willingly enslaved by the innumerable middlemen that have stepped into the void we have created between us and the fruit of the earth.

In the years to come, if we expect not only to have our food the way we want it, but even to have adequate food at all, we are going to be forced to produce it ourselves. We can continue to delude ourselves as long as the status quo holds out, but the status quo is changing right beneath our feet. We can no longer afford to depend entirely on commerce for our food supply.

Part of the reason for this is that those who do supply that food will continue to experience deflation in prices, but not necessarily a deflation in costs. With a consumer base that is increasingly unable to afford anything but the basics, the lucrative niche market in organics and other exotics is going to melt away. As with most other industries right now, the suppliers will be thinned out, and those that remain will struggle mightily.

To be sure, the sphere of food production is rank right now with unjust regulations and downright dastardly dealings.

Equally sure is the necessity to fight that injustice in every way possible.

But the best way to make a true and lasting difference in the lives of all involved is to take matters into our own hands—literally. We must produce as much of our own food as possible. Not only will it be the freshest, healthiest possible food, but in doing so, we are freed from the bondage of dependence on the rules, regulations and methods of Big Ag. Easier said than done, sure. For many, it may be more or less impossible. But our lives may depend on it before long…

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Irresistible...

2008-12-09T16:38:00.003-06:00

Courtesy of Rod Dreher's Crunchy Con blog, this lovely ad which sums up the general feeling about the latest bailout: (Click on the link above to see the original full size image...the fine print is worth it...)
'nuff said.

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Busted.

2008-12-09T15:51:00.004-06:00

I am finding it very hard to not take pleasure in another's misfortune, but this bit of divine justice is just irresistible: The arrest of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. The only politician I can think of that deserves it more is Daley himself, but he'll be getting it eventually too.

Relish this image:

When I think of the crap Blowhardevich has pushed through the Illinois legislature...guhhhhh!

And what a string of Holidays it's been! St. Nicholas Day, Pearl Harbor Day, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, now this!!! I think this calls for a big gooey dessert with dinner! We'll make something entirely new, and we'll call it "just deserts"...

UPDATE: When on a restricted diet as we are, it is especially hard to think of a really decadent dessert to fit the bill...but I managed to think of just the thing: I had just bought a bunch of hazelnuts from the store and had never made anything with them...so we crushed them up and made SCD-legal gianduia...mmmmmmm...
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The false god of Convenience

2008-12-04T23:46:00.002-06:00

If a man is judged by what—and whom—he surrounds himself with, what chance have any of us? Jesus himself said that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to gain the kingdom of heaven. Most of us do not consider ourselves “rich”, yet if we compare the average American (or other first world citizen) to the rich men of Christ’s time, we cannot help but see the disparity.

Stop and ask yourself: how much of my life is dependent upon convenience? Better yet, turn the question around: How much inconvenience is there in my life, and how well do I cope with it? The devil is in the details, they say, and never does this saying feel more true than when we find ourselves stuck dealing with details without the help of some sort of convenience, whether it is a computer or an appliance or a car or even just a steady supply of electricity.

Our lives are so filled with conveniences, we couldn’t count them if we tried! We wake up in the morning thanks to our alarm clocks; we get ready for our day with the help of indoor plumbing, heated water, and various commercial grooming products and appliances. Our sheets, blankets, mattresses, pillows, towels, clothes, and shoes are mass produced and affordable. Our meals, whether cooked from scratch or pre-prepared, are readily available from local supermarkets or restaurants, prepared and stored in any number of convenient contraptions and containers. We get around with machines requiring little more than the turn of a key and periodic maintenance: with cars parked conveniently in our attached garages, with bikes, with readily accessible trains and buses, with elevators and escalators. We can fill our time during the commute with radio, CD’s, books or recorded books, all in air conditioned or heated comfort.

Most of us then spend our day utilizing myriad conveniences that run the gamut from specialized office equipment to state-of-the-art machinery to the tiniest of labor-saving devices. We are blasted with information from all directions through news and advertising. We connect with others by phone or e-mail or blogs or websites or even webcams; we entertain ourselves with orgies of conveniences: TV, movies, video games, music, comfortable furniture; we attend millions of activities and venues and special interest groups. We can even enjoy sports without actually partaking in them or even being present.

When it gets dark, we flip a switch. With almost no effort, our houses stay warm or cool. With slightly more effort, our clothes and dishes are clean and dry. We may even have the convenience of having someone else do all the cleaning, mowing and other maintenance for us.

When we fall ill, we have merely to pop an over-the-counter medication, or visit our doctor for other magic pills. Through the convenience of insurance, it’s all covered. Even when heart disease or cancer or diabetes threaten, we can rely on the convenience of modern medicine to rescue us from the inconvenience of changing our habits.

And that is really what it comes down to: habits. When our habits revolve around ease, comfort, and convenience, it is all too easy to view inconvenience as if it were the root of all evil. Which brings me back to my question: How much inconvenience is there in my life, and how well do I cope with it? Most of us—myself included—have a conditioned response of impatience with these annoyances. Worse yet, we undergo endless anxiety in the name of maintaining--or expanding--our level of convenience.

When the person in the car in front of you is being a doofus, how do you react? What happens when you have to wait in a long line? Can you keep your cool when something breaks down? When you are stuck in a protracted power outage, do you feel like you don’t know what to do with yourself?

Our dependence upon the constant convenience of our lives distracts us from our humanity—from our strengths and our frailties—but most of all, it distracts us from the sense that out there exists that than which no greater thing can be imagined…

Though it is not necessary to be a Luddite in order to effectively contemplate the divine, the spiritual benefits we gain through the discipline of ‘doing things the hard way’ are unmistakable.

For when we look at the things that truly matter in our lives, we find that, invariably, they are inconvenient, messy, and downright hard-to-deal-with. Yet the rewards far outweigh the hassle—and when we seek to avoid the trouble of dealing with them, our lives are ever less rich and meaningful (though we sometimes fail to realize it). These nuisances may include relationships with others…raising children…making or building or creating things…learning new skills…breaking bad habits…practicing virtue…going to church/praying the rosary, etc… What would you add to this list?

So would I be ecstatically happy if I were suddenly uprooted from my life and sent to live among the Amish? I doubt it. But I have no doubt that I would grow spiritually from the experience in ways that are utterly impossible to predict.

…Amish boot camp for the spiritually congested…now there’s a concept!

In sum, there is a good reason why we often use the word virtue when we speak of hard work, but not when we speak of using the many conveniences listed above. The good news is that we can practice that virtue without becoming a hermit in the desert. Recognizing conveniences for what they are—merely conveniences, and not necessities—is of the utmost importance. Whether we manage to divorce ourselves from them physically or only spiritually, entirely or only partially—the greatest hope we can have of avoiding the fate of the rich man is to set about extricating ourselves from our relationship with comfort and with convenience.

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Humility: the long-lost little sister

2008-12-02T14:55:00.002-06:00

Perhaps one of the most difficult things for man to come to grips with is impotence. (And I don’t mean the Viagra kind…) When we are given to see what is happening around us, yet we are powerless to do anything at all about it, the need for humility before the power of God is awakened. Such lessons have a great potential for being extraordinarily painful, for we so easily forget that control over our own lives is no more than an illusion. When we intensely feel that we are not in control, frustration, depression, impatience and despair can quickly overwhelm us.

One of the most thorough ways of learning this lesson is by raising children. When they are young, it is both easy and imperative that we exert control over their lives; as they grow, our control over their lives diminishes more each year. Sometimes the pain of being unable to keep them from harm is excruciating, no matter how insignificant that harm may be in the grander scheme of things.

But most of all, when our lives experience significant upheaval--when we are faced with the inability to know how to plan our lives--and we must trust not only in God's will for us, but also His timing, the only answer is a bonecrushing lesson in patience and faith. These are the times that try men's souls, said Thomas Paine, and he knew what he was talking about.

This too is a gift we can lay on the altar of our personal sacrifices. Humility is really a long-lost little sister who must be embraced with joy, however bittersweet. For we must remember that when it is God’s will that opposes us, it is for a very good—if unseen—reason. To bear good fruit, a tree must be trained and pruned; just so are our lives in the Master’s hands.

And so we give thanks for the lessons that impotence brings us and learn to love the scourges of the Lord.

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How can you say I worship false gods???

2008-11-15T23:37:00.005-06:00

There are many who claim that the word ‘mammon’ is merely the Aramaic word for ‘wealth’ and that there is no such God.

I am here to tell you that the worship of mammon is a religion every bit as much as any other—regardless of whether its god is truly a demon or merely an idea—and that he stands for more than merely wealth or avarice: he is the apotheosis of human practicality.

After all, we have to have at least some common sense to be able to navigate this world, right? Better yet, the more “street smarts” you have, the more successful and prosperous you can be. Our entire lives are dedicated to this principle, from nursery school to college degrees to success in the business world. And who can argue that such application of hard work, determination and the desire to provide for a family…are wrong???

The answer is that such things are certainly not wrong. The difficulty arises when this sense of practicality comes between us and a true, heartfelt love for God and His commandments.

That is easily said, but vague—and vaguely irritating. Why?

The answer lies in the nearly seamless way in which this practical ‘business sense’ has become enmeshed as part of our culture. It is nearly impossible to see how something as simple as wanting to succeed in business could be construed as a religion, much less as worshipping a false god. After all, most successful businessmen are Church-attending Christians.

But upon closer inspection, the seams begin to show—and to fray—when the precepts of one religion conflict with the other. Ethical concerns are merely the tip of the iceberg in this respect. The most insidious ways in which conflict between Christianity and Mammon worship can be seen are often more subtle: They are those times when we dismiss the exhortations of Christ as utterly impractical and therefore ridiculous, even annoying or childish.

Nor is this a new concept; scripture tells the story of the rich young man who asked Jesus how he could gain eternal life:

Jesus saith to him: If thou wilt be perfect, go sell what thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come follow me. And when the young man had heard this word, he went away sad: for he had great possessions. Then Jesus said to his disciples: Amen, I say to you, that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say to you: It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 19:21-24

When we are faced with moments like this, where true faith in Christ becomes inconvenient, impractical, unbusinesslike, even downright impossible, our true faith shows. Do we cling to our trust in the Lord and become ‘of such heavenly mind we are of no earthly good’, or do we cling to the safety and comfort of normalcy—of the things we can see, touch and prove? The answer seems practical enough.

Perhaps you are beginning to see that “practicality” is at best a very lukewarm Christianity, which, when hard pressed, resembles Christianity very little. It is not Christianity. We cannot serve two masters. Either worldliness is our goal, or heaven. We really can’t have both, as we can see from this passage from the Epistle of St. James:

Adulterers, know you not that the friendship of this world is the enemy of God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of this world, becometh an enemy of God. But he giveth greater grace. Wherefore he saith: God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Be subject therefore to God, but resist the devil, and he will fly from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

James 4:5-8

And to those who would argue that this “common sense” is human nature, I wholeheartedly agree: and in the same breath I will say that you have proved my point, since we know that our nature is one of sinfulness:

And we are all become as one unclean, and all our justices as the rag of a menstruous woman: and we have all fallen as a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

Isaiah 64:6

None is good but one, that is God.

Mark 10: 18

At which point we are left with the rest of the story of the rich man:

And when they had heard this, the disciples wondered very much, saying: Who then can be saved?

And Jesus beholding, said to them: With men this is impossible: but with God all things are possible.

Matthew 19:25-26

It is impossible for us to attain heaven—especially due to our prosperity—by our own devices. Only by throwing ourselves upon the mercy of the Lord, as a child throws himself upon the lap of his mother, can we hope to call ourselves true Christians. If we truly love Christ, we must despise Mammon. If despising Mammon means becoming as a leper, so be it.

Amen I say to you, there is no man who hath left house or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or children, or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, Who shall not receive an hundred times as much, now in this time; houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions: and in the world to come life everlasting.

Mark 10:29-30

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A quick update

2008-11-15T21:28:00.004-06:00

I have not posted for some time because my life has recently entered a tailspin. Ironically enough, it is not due to the rapidly collapsing economy or the like. It all began with a friend who loaned me a tri-field meter, and, God willing, may end with moving our family...somewhere else...

For those of you who have never heard of a tri-field meter, it is a device that allows you to measure the strength of the electromagnetic fields around you (among other things). This post from May of this year contains a table showing common measurements of these fields as produced by the electrical appliances and gadgets in your home or office, which are measured in units called milliGauss.

In order to put these measurements into perspective, it helps to know that several countries worldwide have adopted official standards for safe levels of daily exposure to these electromagnetic fields, or EMFs, ranging from 1 to 3 milliGauss. Our own EPA has proposed a safety standard of 1 milliGauss.

Personally, I'd like to know what drugs they are on, because after driving around the neighborhood with this tri-field meter, it was hard to find a spot where it dipped below 2 mG. But worse, when nearing certain power lines in residential neighborhoods, in close proximity to the houses, I got readings as high as 35.

And this is where my own personal tailspin comes in. Measurements inside my house ranged from 8 mG to 25 mG. These were not readings that I took standing next to the refrigerator or among myriad appliances. These were the ambient readings throughout the house, with the highest readings being in my children's bedrooms.

I knew, based on symptoms I have been experiencing for well over a year, that EMFs were a problem in our house, but I had no idea it was this bad.

And if that weren't bad enough, when I stepped out in the backyard, the readings, instead of dropping, continued to climb as I walked toward the very rear of the yard--where the power lines run through the middle of the block. These are not the giant high-voltage lines. They look like standard residential supply lines. Standing in the backyard--where my children play every day--the readings were between 35 and 50 mG, and if I held the meter over my head, it climbed above 100.

I checked the other blocks in my area and found that the readings were not nearly so high--and then I realized why. Most of the power lines carry a single wire on top. Ours carry three. And the current in those lines must be unbelievable.

To say that I am alarmed by this news surpasses understatement. I have found myself practically unable to do all but the most critical tasks (feeding, dressing and schooling the brood) and have become unhealthily obsessed with figuring out how and where we can move...yes, in this housing market... The only thing that keeps me from being utterly paralyzed is knowing that God is on our side, and if it is His will to rescue us, then it will happen.

If it is not His will, then I must consent to suffer...which would be so much easier if I didn't have to watch my children's delicate nervous systems being driven to distraction not only by all the environmental poisons they are already saddled with, but now this.

Thy will be done, Lord. I will continue to be patient, somehow...

Please keep our family in your prayers.

Are you Voting Antichrist?

2008-10-09T15:56:00.003-05:00

I am inundated these days with e-mails and phone calls and people spouting what they've heard in the news or on TV, telling me how crucial it is to vote for so-and-so, and how they have the unique ability to save our nation or destroy our nation or whatever issue happens to be foremost in their minds.

So I've got to say it again.

I don't care how nice one politician seems, or how knowledgeable, or conservative, or courageous, or pro-life, or...fill in the blank with whatever word you see fit.

By nature, politics are of this world, and even the most moral, upright citizen faces great danger when given power over others. In addition, moral, upright citizens are not only more or less unelectable, but they would be utterly miserable serving the machine that is politics.

So I don't care how moral this or that politician seems, or even is. Barring an unprecedented and cataclysmic change in Washington, it won't make a spot of difference. Stop trying to convince me otherwise.

I say Rubbish.

What is now underway has been coming for well over a century, and who is in power will make precious little difference. It's in God's hands now.

All of these arguments are nothing more than the delusions of those who are still desperately clinging to the notion that we have control over the events that are now taking place, and that will take place in the near future.

In a way, it is good to retain that sort of hope for the future, like when actors on a stage attempt to save a performance gone horribly awry, partially for their own sake as much as for the sake of the audience.

Understand that I have not discarded hope: rather, I have discarded the notion that a name on a ballot will change anything whatsoever. Satan is the prince of this world, and the battle to remove him is not ours. We vote for him every time we put our own needs ahead of others. If I shall vote, it shall be through attempting to rid myself of this habit.

My hope now is in the triumph of the Immaculate Heart, which will not be affected by any votes and is still a few years of horrible suffering away.

If all of this makes you feel impotent, then pray fervently and offer sacrifices for the conversion of sinners. Give to others every chance you get, even if it is only your prayers. Seek ways to share of your abundance with those who are in need. Seek only that profit which is spiritual, and forgo financial profit.

God is merciful and has given us a great gift in this monetary collapse. I'm sure that it is hard to see it that way, but just think: losing the comfort and security of our possessions helps us to let go of our worldly addictions and put our whole trust in Him! This is the greatest of gifts!

We might be thankful that God has seen fit to begin in this way, rather than plunging us first into war, famine, or pestilence--though they will come in their due time.

The sacrifices of the coming year will be beneficial for the sake of souls, if perhaps not so much for our bodies. Right now God is especially pleased by fasting, whether it be fasting from food or from other indulgences. We must offer our sufferings for the sake of those who cannot now see past despair and worry. Each mortification brings with it the possibility that another soul may be saved from eternal suffering.

In summation, what is now happening has been preordained for millennia. This house is condemned to be destroyed down to its very foundation: ought we to fret that it has twisted and missing floorboards, or that it has gaping holes in the walls? These are the very reasons why it is condemned. Those who would convince you that this or that politician will be better than that one at fixing the problem are, in essence, attempting to salvage the condemned house. It will not be saved. It will be rebuilt, and this time it will be built by the hand of God, and it will last unto eternity.
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This is our travail

2008-10-07T23:51:00.003-05:00

With the financial storm looming overhead, it is natural to spend our time thinking about what we can possibly do to insulate ourselves against calamity. Our natural instincts turn to providing for ourselves and for our loved ones, as it is precisely times like these that "survival of the fittest" becomes the name of the game.

Yet, while that is the way of the world, we know that the ways of the world are not God's ways. In my worldly desire to plan ahead, I am thinking of money, and how to best preserve our supply of it. But in turning to scripture, I reminded of what money is really for:

And the people rejoiced, when they promised their offerings willingly: because they offered them to the Lord with all their heart: and David the king rejoiced also with a great joy. And he blessed the Lord before all the multitude, and he said: Blessed art thou, O Lord the God of Israel, our father from eternity to eternity.
Thine, O Lord, is magnificence, and power, and glory, and victory: and to thee is praise: for all that is in heaven, and in earth, is thine: thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art above all princes. Thine are riches, and thine is glory, thou hast dominion over all, in thy hand is power and might: in thy hand greatness, and the empire of all things. Now therefore our God we give thanks to thee, and we praise thy glorious name. Who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able to promise thee all these things? all things are thine: and we have given thee what we received of thy hand. For we are sojourners before thee, and strangers, as were all our fathers. Our days upon earth are as a shadow, and there is no stay.
O Lord our God, all this store that we have prepared to build thee a house for thy holy name, is from thy hand, and all things are thine.

(1 Chronicles/Paralipomenon 29:9-16)

In these times, it is not ourselves or even our loved ones that we are supposed to be worrying about.

For he that will save his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for my sake, shall find it.
(Matthew 16:25)

It is so easy in our fight for survival to think that the greatest good is to preserve one's life and livelihood. But life and livelihood come not from our own power, and they quickly pass away into eternity.

...be not solicitous for your life, what you shall eat; nor for your body, what you shall put on... which of you, by taking thought, can add to his stature one cubit?
If then ye be not able to do so much as the least thing, why are you solicitous for the rest? For your Father knoweth that you have need of these things.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock, for it hath pleased your Father to give you a kingdom. Sell what you possess and give alms. Make to yourselves bags which grow not old, a treasure in heaven which faileth not: where no thief approacheth, nor moth corrupteth.
(Luke 12:22, 25, 26, 30-33)

We ought not to be thinking like the rich man--our whole mind must be turned now to the Lazaruses who lie suffering at our doorstep. And as we beg the Lord to help bear our burdens, so must we bear one another's burdens.

We must fight our impulse to save, hoard and protect.

Instead we must give, serve and love.

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An honest question

2008-09-30T21:09:00.004-05:00

...So when (yes, when, not if...) congress finally passes this "bailout" bill, is one of the conditions going to be that all the executive positions at those banks be sacked without severance, fined heavily, and they can thank their lucky stars if they don't go to prison? I'm just wondering...

How anyone can actually be so far in denial as to think that throwing nonexistent money after bad money is going to fix this problem...is beyond me anyway. Like the passengers on the "unsinkable" Titanic, most still believe there is a way to save the ship. And unfortunately, like the Titanic, there aren't enough lifeboats for all. What this bailout amounts to is nothing more than making sure the first class passengers have first dibs on the lifeboats.

Let them sink, I say, because we're all going to sink anyway.

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By the sweat of our brow?

2008-09-28T20:21:00.003-05:00

Has it ever occurred to anyone else how perfectly ridiculous it is that we should have to pay to go to the gym to exercise off all that food we eat?

I mean, think about this: for millennia, people have struggled to eke out an existence, all the energy they gain from their food going into producing more food or goods or other necessary pursuits. True, during prosperous ages, and among the elite classes, there has been plenty of decadence, but try, if you can, to imagine the characters from a Dickens novel wasting their precious morsels on exercise for exercise’s sake…

What a shock the characters from Dostoevsky might have if they could see us struggling with obesity, spending hours lifting weights, doing pilates, pedaling stationary bicycles or climbing stairstep machines. We are obsessed with exercise, our entire faith in its magic to transform us into something we are not.

Even with the financial condition of our country crumbling, so very few of us have any concept of what abject poverty really is, amidst our widescreen plasma TVs and cellular phones and kitchen appliances of every sort. I’ve been in poor neighborhoods before—both urban and rural—but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a child who was forced to wear rags or go shoeless. We suffer widespread malnutrition of a different sort—but has anyone ever seen a starving child except on commercials?

So the next time you’re getting ready to do whatever “exercise” it is that you do, think to yourself for a moment: what can I do to put my energy to productive use, rather than squandering it on climbing stairs that go nowhere? How can I convert the food I have consumed into a worthwhile end other than an additional repetition at the bench press? At the very least, couldn’t you ride your bicycle to the gym instead of driving there--just to use a stationary bicycle? Better yet, skip the stationary altogether (and save the money) and get some fresh air and sunshine instead. Consider it practice for the tough times that are coming.

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How many will suffer before we wake up?

2008-09-26T15:34:00.003-05:00

Here's a great article at Breitbart.com covering the dangers of cell phone use:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080926011656.0kfws57m&show_article=1

a quick excerpt:

"Recalling the 70 years that it took to remove lead from paint and gasoline and the 50 years that it took to convincingly establish the link between smoking and lung cancer, I argue that we must learn from our past to do a better job of interpreting evidence of potential risk," said Herberman.

I love the beauty of that statement.

Of course, it fails to mention that wireless technology is just as bad, if not worse. It shows proper concern for cell phone use among children and teens, but fails to recognize the dangerous equivalent of "secondhand smoke": the fact that most schools and libraries have cellular antennas on the roof, not to mention wireless internet throughout. A large proportion of homes are getting wireless modems. These sources of radiation may not be directly applied to the ear, but they are much stronger, and they are continuous.

I'm glad that there is at least some exposure to this concept that our wireless addiction needs some sanity applied, but warnings on the packages of cigarettes wasn't enough, and it won't be enough here either, because in both situations (that is, smoking and cell phone use), the innocent are harmed.
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Consolation

2008-09-24T11:02:00.001-05:00

For those seeking consolation in these times comes this morsel from Handel’s Oratorio Theodora…

First a quick background note: The story of Theodora takes place during the fourth century reign of Diocletian. Faced with certain death if they do not sacrifice to the Roman gods, a group of Christians including Theodora and her friend Irene are advised to flee. Irene eloquently protests this advice in the following recitative and aria:

Ah! Whither should we fly, or fly from whom?
The Lord is still the same, today, for ever,
And his protection here, and everywhere.
Though gath'ring round our destin'd heads
The storm now thickens, and looks big with fate,
Still shall thy servants wait on Thee, O Lord,
And in thy saving mercy put their trust.

As with rosy steps the morn,
Advancing, drives the shades of night,
So from virtuous toil well-borne,
Raise Thou our hopes of endless light.
Triumphant saviour, Lord of day,
Thou art the life, the light, the way!
(da capo)

Words fail.

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Lord help us all

2008-09-13T01:32:00.003-05:00

I can’t help but marvel at how the majority of people in this world are blissfully unaware of the magnitude of disaster we are facing. (And I’m not talking about hurricanes…) It is as if everyone were so completely absorbed in watching a glorious sunset , forgetting in their awe and wonder that time is not standing still; that in a moment they will be plunged into night. We stand at this brink, for the light has not left us entirely, and all seem to assume that when the sun has gone, their way will continue to be well lit by the power of man, as it has been for generations. And when the lights fail to enter on cue, what then will be???

This is the fear that strikes into the hearts of those who, by clear knowledge or vague intuition, know that the dark is coming, but not when, or where, or how dark, or what to do. (Naturally, of course, we ought not fear, but yet that sense of trepidation lurks beneath our every move.)

We madmen can plainly see that the emperor is naked, but our voices are stifled by fear or force, and fall on the deaf ears of those who stubbornly refuse to admit that they could possibly be wrong. Oh the depth of the pride and the folly! We are flying headlong into what may be the most mysterious--and yet most consistently predicted--moment in all of history. And if you don’t know what moment in history I am talking about, brush up on your Marian apparitions and read the Book of Apocalypse (Revelation), Daniel, Ezekiel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Amos, Micah, Esdras, Matthew 24, Mark 13, Luke 17 and 21…and this list is by no means exhaustive. Here is an interesting link as well.

Nearly all of these accounts agree on enough points to be quite clear. Those of us who can see it coming like a monstrous storm on the horizon have no further proof than these. That, and the bone-deep knowledge that makes clear the ominous flashing of lightning far off in the distance. It will be swift; it will be complete; it will be painful; it will be soon.

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Lord, make me an instrument of your peace...

2008-09-10T23:52:00.005-05:00

The more I take the time to ponder, the more I realize that we are a people who talk a lot and do very little.

Now that may come as a shock to those who are so busy they scarcely sit still, or to those who don’t spend much time talking. But that’s not what I mean. In everything we engage in, be it a conversation or a business meeting or a class or a book club…we talk through, around and over everything. This blog is no exception. I gab on for pages at a time.

What’s wrong with that? I hear you saying. Yes, God gave us voices and he gave us language, and it is only natural to use it to share our experiences of this world.

But if the old saying “A picture is worth a thousand words” is true, how much more is an example worth?

For centuries, millennia even, the method of passing knowledge down from generation to generation was through apprenticeship. One learnt by doing, not by talking about it. Those whose profession it is to talk all day have often been viewed with at least some degree of distrust, from the sophists to the lawyers and politicians. In contrast, many who have taken holy orders also take a vow of silence…

Why? If verbal communication is indeed of paramount importance, why is it that so much more information is conveyed without words?

Those of you who homeschool your children, think to yourselves: how often do you find yourself lecturing to your children? How often do we talk when we could convey the message more succinctly by simply providing a concrete example? And how much more powerful is the example when the child himself actually performs the action?

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

This quote is attributed to Confucius—and how true it is. Yet in no subject is this more true than in the conveyance of our faith. How many a child has been bored to death in a catechism class?

But these things are important, you say! How are we supposed to teach these things without using words?

Aha! This is the essential question. How can we convey our faith without words? Surely we cannot convey the richness and depth of that faith with no words at all, yet an overabundance of them only serves to choke off that spark of spontaneity that is characteristic of the Spirit.

God designed our children to learn from the world around them. They learn like sponges, whether we want them to or not (and often it is those things we prefer they not learn that they learn best…because they learn it on their own, without interference from us!). But they also are much closer than we to the Kingdom, for so Christ himself told us. Their ability to love and trust Him unquestioningly surpasses our own, though we may understand the whys and wherefores much better. Simple sincerity of heart is worth as much, if not more, than lofty and learned erudition. Isn’t this borne out by surveying the choices that God makes in carrying out His will?

Therefore those spiritual truths that we deem most pressing are those that we must teach them by example. We cannot teach our children patience while we hurry them along and tick the time off with our feet. We cannot teach them to serve others by waiting on them hand and foot. Most of all, we cannot teach them peace or joy or love if we are tormented, discontent and isolated. When we are at peace, when we are cheerful and gentle, and when we spend our time serving God and our fellow man with compassion and humility, those virtues will spring up in our homes and fill our children’s hearts. The gaps in knowledge will fill themselves through access to well-chosen books, through time and maturity, and of course, through the voice of the Spirit Himself speaking in their hearts. We must become like little children ourselves and trust in the ways that our Lord leads each one of us. In doing so, we truly become instruments of His peace.

I don’t know about you, but this is no mean task for me. I sometimes feel as if I am constantly frustrated, solemn and cross. But I am determined to emerge from this overtight cocoon of self-centeredness and rigidity and to be transformed into that which I wish my children to be.

And I plan to do that by shutting up and just doing it.

…And as always, by praying unceasingly.

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Hell hath no fury...

2008-09-06T22:38:00.004-05:00

...like a spoiled child.

I mean, scorned women can be pretty rough. Medea was ten kinds of rotten...maybe more.

But in the case of a mistreated woman, at least you can understand the reason behind the madness, and if you are lucky, you can attempt to defend yourself.

How do you defend yourself against a spoiled child, whose entire sense of reason is either undeveloped or hopelessly warped???

To what extent does this poor creature become...possessed??? For they are so possessed with themselves, they function as perfect surrogates for evil. To spend any time around them is to know the advantage that Satan happily takes over those who, from will or from ignorance, fail to uninvite him.

Discuss.

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Allow me to introduce you…

2008-08-31T21:19:00.002-05:00

…to a revolutionary concept.

You know how the hippies sang, “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony…”

Well, there’s something I’d like to teach the world—or at least the part of the world I live in.

It’s a very deep concept, and lofty in every way, elusive to commonplace thought, yet surprisingly easy to grasp.

Are you ready?

Take a deep breath…

OK, here it is:

BEING HUNGRY WILL NOT KILL YOU.

Now before you get your panties in a bind, please take a moment to notice the difference between hunger and starvation. Actual starvation can kill you. Going 5 hours between meals will not.

I know, for many, this seems like a difficult concept to grasp, but it will help if you put down that soda and try to concentrate.

In this day and age, where satiating every slight twinge of hunger is merely a Snickers bar away, it is sometimes easy to forget that there was a time, not so long ago, when that was not the case. People gave thanks before meals in no small part because they were truly thankful to have enough to keep hunger at bay. They knew how fortunate they were just to have three squares a day, much less morning coffee and an afternoon snack and after dinner munchies and midnight snacks…

Meal preparation, from procurement to table, consumed a large majority of time in the life of all but the wealthiest. Anyone with enough free time to be sitting around blogging—or reading blogs—instead of hunting, fishing, gathering, herding, farming, slaughtering, harvesting, storing, cooking, serving and eating was either among a very fortunate few, or in danger of imminent starvation.

Of course, as with so many other things that seem so simple and easy and commonplace on the surface, the heart of the issue goes much, much deeper.

What we put into our mouths—and how—and where and with whom—all have a profound effect on our well-being. I tell you now that one of the easiest ways for Satan to reach straight into our hearts is through our mouths (and only in small part because of the corruptible nature of flesh). This phenomenon is due less to the forbidden fruit that caused the downfall of Adam than it is to the fact that feeding ourselves is such a natural, commonplace activity that it never occurs to us that we could be consuming evil as we feed ourselves.

Oh, there I go again! Why do I see evil in everything, and yet am always admonishing everyone to not be afraid? Well, it’s easier to fear an enemy you don’t know, isn’t it? So bear with me.

…with labour and toil shalt thou eat thereof all the days of thy life.
Thorns and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herbs
of the earth. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thou
return to the earth… (Genesis 3: 17-19)

It is God’s very first law for man in his earthly home. Only through toil and labor shall we eat. Just because we can obtain our nourishment through other means doesn’t make it acceptable in God’s eyes. In his wisdom he knew that we needed this labor. He did not fashion us to eat of the stones and dirt of the earth, dead and without need for cultivation. Likewise, he did not fashion us to eat food that has been altered to the point where it is no longer even able to rot.

God fashioned us to live through consuming other living things. This is a great mystery, but any that deny it fly to their own ruin. In order to properly achieve this, we must expend time, resources and effort in procuring these other living things. Thus there is a built-in control in the quantity of food we can consume. This is true in myriad ways; covering them is beyond my present scope.

We have become consumers not of other living things, but of things so far removed from life that they scarcely contain any trace of nutriment. Some are so adulterated as to even rob us of nutriment.

And which of you, if he ask his father bread, will he give him a stone? or a
fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg,
will he reach him a scorpion? (Luke 11:11-12)

How can we expect to replace our bread with stones and be satisfied?

If thou didst know the gift of God, and who he is that saith to thee, Give
me to drink; thou perhaps wouldst have asked of him, and he would have given
thee living water. (John 4:10)

Always His ways are best. If we ask Him, He will give us living water. Yet He has commanded us that we shall eat by our labor. So if we will be satisfied, we must submit with humility and continence. We ought to do what we can to procure at least a portion of our food from the earth rather than a store. We should labor to prepare our meals. We must practice self-control in how, when, where, and how much we eat. We should practice finishing our meals before we are filled, offering up the rest. Through labor and sacrifice, we acknowledge God’s natural wisdom for us, and our labor truly becomes a form of prayer, of obedience to His will, of ‘mortification of the flesh’. If we cannot manage this simple form of discipline, how will we manage when the steaks—er—stakes are higher?

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Fear of the Occult

2008-08-26T15:19:00.008-05:00

(Now, those of you who know me can look at the first word of that title and know what I’m about to say…)

A very dear friend of mine is wrestling mightily with the idea of sending her children to a Montessori School. Her interest and struggle is in no small part due to my own influence, as my children have all attended Montessori school during their 2^nd through 6^th years. In addition to the benefit they gain in ordering their own minds, I have found that the peace I gain from having these 2 or 3 hours apart from them far outweighs the effect of the influences they are exposed to. Nevertheless, I am very aware and respectful of her concerns, as they form the heart of why we homeschool our children.

Her biggest concern at the moment is the fact that Yoga is strongly emphasized in the classroom. I am aware of the amount of ink that has been spilled on the subject. I am aware of the specific concerns. And I don’t pretend to be the expert on the subject, nor do I consider myself to be even approaching infallibility. Nevertheless, I will dare to give my opinion on the subject.

Here are the main points that I see at play:

1) Our Lord and God is King over all the universe, but scripture tells us that Satan is in fact prince of this temporal world we live in.

2) A great deal of our culture is either in thrall to his deceptions, or at the very least in ignorance or indifference to them.

3) A large part of the danger that exists in these deceptions stems from that ignorance or indifference, as his devices often seem quite harmless or innocuous, but they plant the seeds of great evil that only becomes clear much later, after a great deal of damage has been done.

4) One of these devices—and indeed, a favorite of his—is FEAR.

5) He is not ‘equal-yet-opposite’ to God. With the very rare exception of demonic possession (in which case the possessed is not held responsible for his actions in the eyes of God), Satan’s power over us is more or less confined to hindrance, however energetic.

6) This hindrance is truly effective only if it succeeds in accomplishing one of these goals:

· Creating potential sin—that is, fostering mental beliefs and/or physical conditions that are particularly conducive to the commission of sin.

· Causing actual commission of sin.

· Causing us to sin by omission or neglect.

7) In Genesis, we read that when God created the world and the things in it, He called them GOOD. Evil can only exist where there is a will divergent from God’s will. Therefore an inanimate object or a particular action can only become “evil” through association with some sort of intent. For example, stabbing with a knife becomes an evil act when it is associated with the intent of hurting someone or something.

(OK, it’s not an all-encompassing treatise, but this is a blog. If you need a deeper analysis, go snuggle up with your copy of City of God instead.)

Where the water gets muddy is when we combine #7 with #3. There is real danger here, and there are obviously blatant examples of these occasions of sin that surround us daily. These ought to be scrupulously avoided to the extent possible; however, in order to avoid the danger of #4, we must also analyze our actions and weigh them in the balance. What benefit do we gain by becoming obsessive and thereby creating an atmosphere of fear, anger, isolation and resentment in our homes, which instead ought to be a safe and peaceful refuge?

For example, in our society, fathers (and sometimes mothers) spend all day working outside the home. This is not inherently evil; yet it often leads to strife in the home: there is the physical separation which lends itself to spiritual separation; there is the lack of a constantly present role model for children; there is the shifting of priorities away from those of home and family…the list goes on. And yet it remains a necessary evil. We suffer it, and if we are wise, we attempt to counteract it to the greatest extent possible.

It is good to be aware of the subtle tricks that Satan uses to divide and conquer—but we must also be aware that division is the first step in that victory!!!

When we allow him to create divisions among us, we are already weakened. For if we close our hearts, how can even He enter within? At the risk of sounding ecumenical, it is our duty to seek out those things that we have in common, rather than dwelling on the differences.

Remember 'salt and light'?

Part of following Christ’s commandments consists in plotting our course through life with courage, hope and good will toward our fellow men. Sequestration and distrust cannot achieve this. An army of crusaders is useless if they sit fallow at home.

We must engage in battle!

Not in the sense that we consider the “other” as an enemy to be fought, but in the sense that Christ placed himself in the midst of those others and led them by example, by abundant love, by excessive forgiveness. When we agree to fight for Him, will He not supply our every need in that battle? Look at the quote in my sideline: The battle is His, not ours! He asks that we go out to meet the challenges of our day, with the promise that He will be with us.

Do not fear to engage. Do not fear the “other”. Do not fear even those tactics that are meant to ensnare us, for if we consecrate ourselves to His service, we make Him our rock and our shield. Consider first and foremost that we have a great thing in common: we are all sinners.

What we should fear most is that we should become so convinced that we are right, that we become like the Pharisees—the one group toward whom Jesus spoke most harshly.

And now there remain these three: Faith, Hope and Love; and the greatest of these is Love. (1 Corinthians 13: 13)

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Having your cake and eating it too...

2008-08-10T16:24:00.006-05:00

Now that the word "cake" conjures up an image of a store-bought confection similar to quilt batting and covered in icing a mile thick, how does this ages-old expression for satisfaction then change?

Aren't a large majority of our common pleasures well described by the words above?

How many of the things we prize have more substance than fluff?

Our buildings are fluff covered with icing (or not...).

Our entertainment (TV, music, movies, computer games, etc.) is fluff covered with icing.

Our literature is fluff covered with icing.

Our food is fluff covered with icing.

Our health is fluff covered with icing.

And we're all eating it up in vast quantities.

Further, if we add that other favorite cliche, You are what you eat, doesn't that mean that we have made ourselves into fluff covered with icing?
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How strange...

2008-08-09T23:39:00.004-05:00

...to feel a sort of...joy...while watching your child vomit.

There is no good way to explain such a feeling, except to those who have gone through this process before.

Today was day 2 of the SCD diet for us, and with perfect precision, the two people in the family who exhibit the greatest symptoms of behavioral disorder were the sickest, each in direct proportion to the severity of that disorder.

It is never easy--or gladdening--to watch your own children suffer.

But knowing that these die-off symptoms provide hope that they will soon join the ranks of normal, happy, robustly healthy people...I can only describe that feeling as pure joy.

And since you all know of my tender spot for the paradoxical, you may appreciate the wealth of irony in learning that even after feeding them the edible equivalent of pure gold, after looking upon them as the picture of health, we cannot be assured that our children truly are robustly healthy. Still these problems lurk beneath the surface, tormenting us as well as them. They are imprisoned by what lives inside them. To free them means to make them first a battleground. Thus, ironic as it appears, vomiting is a sign that their bodies are struggling mightily and prevailing.

God is good.

Aside from the general cloud that currently hangs over our house (one of grumpiness), our house has been relatively peaceful. Moreover, the grumpiness is more than understandable, if for no other reason than that we are all so hungry.

You see, it's one thing to get really tired of eating plain roasted or grilled meat, carrots cooked for 4 hours, eggs and apple or grape juice. It's another to eat them and never feel full. But having done a cleansing fast before, I embrace that feeling of hunger because I know what it will bring.

And above all, I pray that it will continue to bring peace to my family.

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Decadence...

2008-08-08T23:55:00.005-05:00

The Chinese spent how much on this spectacle?

This, in a country that has, at various times, brutally suppressed most of the things the world tonight saw suddenly boasted of with cultural pride?

(I kept waiting for the part of the show that represented the Cultural Revolution...)

This, in a country where forced abortions still take place?

Where, even now, poor farmers live in medieval conditions?

Where pollution is such a problem that the biggest news for the past few weeks has been the smog?

I could go on, but the point makes itself.

File this one under: the pride that comes before the fall.

It's coming, folks. It's coming.
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And now...the SCD diet...

2008-08-08T00:12:00.007-05:00

Well, as if our diet weren't already contorted enough, today we begin an entirely new level of culinary fun. It is called the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, or SCD for short.

Those who have read my prior posts about our diet will find no small amount of irony in what we are about to undertake.

We, who eat only whole grains and a significant portion of our foods raw, especially dairy, are going to spend the next several months--or years???--eating no grains at all, only well-cooked vegetables, and no dairy except homemade yogurt.

(Pause for effect...)

I can see that the burning question in your minds is why?????

Let me explain...no, there is too much...let me sum up: Humperdinck is-a marry Buttercup in little less than half an hour...

Can I sum it up in a few phrases? Probably not. But I'll do the best I can.

1. We are all born with a sterile gut, which is then populated by, first, our mother's colostrum and breastmilk (assuming you're lucky enough to be breastfed...), then all that dirt we eat as kids, etc. These organisms, called "gut flora" work symbiotically with our body's digestive system to keep it running smoothly...literally.

2. We use antibiotics or birth control pills or drink chlorinated water or eat garbage, etc., and they damage these gut flora. Other opportunistic bacteria and yeasts are happy to take their place, however, they are like your lazy cousin--they sit around all day, eat junk, get drunk and throw up on your couch, etc.

3. Once that lazy cousin moves in, trying to get him to move out is darn near impossible. You give up trying to scrub the vomit out of your carpet. (That is, your gut lining gets trashed by these tenacious and unwelcome squatters.)

4. Now that your gut lining is damaged, two things happen: a) you can't properly break down and absorb the nutrients in your food; b) it is easier for all this undigested stuff (and the dirty laundry and other niceties your lazy cousin leaves lying around) to get directly into your bloodstream, where it wreaks havoc with your immune system and your brain's delicate balance of chemicals.

5. You develop all sorts of problems, from Irritable Bowel Syndrome to Allergies to Asthma to Autism to ADHD to Fibromyalgia to Chronic Fatigue to Schizophrenia...you get the idea.

6. Even the healthiest of diets is only able to help a little, since you are unable to take full advantage of the nutrients in those foods. Worse yet, some may even irritate the lining of your intestine further (like all that fiber they keep telling us to eat...).

7. The only way to finally get rid of this jerk is the way the Russians got rid of both Napoleon and Hitler. (OK, the Russian winter was a big help there, but I'm talking about Scorched Earth.) Yep. Leave no beer or twinkies around the house. Eventually he's gotta make a beer run, then you can have the locks changed.

8. Here's where the overcooked food comes in. Your poor gut wall is reduced to burnt stubble. Must not irritate it. Soft, wet, well-cooked and carefully chosen foods are what you need to eat so that your intestines can heal. Remember what you ate as a kid when you had the stomach flu? Broth, juice, applesauce, crackers...then you worked your way up to some plain broiled chicken and rice... (Except this time, starches are a big no-no...)

9. As you start to heal, your symptoms subside and you can slowly and carefully add more foods in, eventually including raw fruits and veggies. If you don't go carefully, your lazy cousin will find an open window and sneak back in for cable and internet access.

10. After a year or two (depending on how tenacious your cousin is, and how bad that carpet was when he left, and whether you're extra vigilant to keep those windows and doors locked...) you can start to eat some normal food again, because you're all better. You don't have to keep doing it forever and ever and ever to reap the benefits. (Of course, if you go on a binge for soda and brownies, don't be surprised if you wake up to find that vagabond back on the couch...)

Today will be our first full day of this new diet, and we are expecting lots of fun as those nasties die off. The burning question in my mind is this: since we are not transitioning from the SAD to the SCD, will it be easier for us? Will the benefits be as readily apparent? We are about to find out. I will be posting with any interesting results as time goes on, so check back for updates...

On Hobbits and Ivory Towers

2008-08-06T00:39:00.004-05:00

In my last post, I made a brief reference to the trilogy The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. I want to expand on that a bit. For those who know the story (and if you don’t, I highly recommend it…), a great battle looms throughout the tale—the ultimate confrontation between good and evil. The forces of evil, as often happens, appear stronger, more well-organized and in possession of a peculiar power over men’s hearts.

There is more than one main confrontation, however. There is a decisive battle that takes place at the stronghold of Minas Tirith--the “White Tower”--and there is a more subtle battle that involves the Ring of Power, forged by the evil Sauron himself to subjugate all the earth. Two of the most unlikely and humble creatures are charged with the sole means of destroying this ring: by taking it to the land of Mordor—Sauron’s stronghold—and casting it into the fires of Mount Doom. They must travel into the heart of that barren wasteland, guarded by foul creatures and constantly surveyed by the all-seeing eye of Sauron, searching for his Ring. If ever there were a hopeless task, this is it.

These battles represent the different facets of the struggle that mankind faces against the demon. We do battle with him daily, through brief sorties from our ivory towers. And we do battle with ourselves, with our doubt and fear and our sinful nature. We can only be victorious if we do enough of both.

For those sequestered in their ivory towers, their distant rustic shires and their enchanted wooded bowers, it is natural to wish to hide from the ravages of worldliness in the hopes that the storm will pass over, or at least do only minor damage. This is not the way God intended: merely saving ourselves is not sufficient. Hiding in the ivory tower may save our hides—for a time—but in the absence of active opposition, the power of evil is allowed to grow unchecked. Meanwhile, we abandon our fellow men to the fate of either constant battle or surrender through attrition. And so by seeking to insulate ourselves, we merely ensure our own ruin, though its coming may be long and protracted.

Constant battle, on the other hand, can wear us down and rob us of our prized possessions of faith, hope and love. And all of us are neither suited nor destined for the front lines. For some of us, our role is not unlike those on the “home front” during World War II, actively supporting their country through war bonds, rationing, scrap metal drives, victory gardens and even creating “Rosie the Riveter”. The supportive role is no less important than that carried by the broad shoulders of those God destined to lead the fight, though it often requires more discernment.

And that is where the other track of the narrative comes in—the story of the unlikely hobbits and their unlikelier guide, Smeagol, seeking to accomplish the most thankless task—and yet the one without which the others are doomed to fail. For only when we accept the dangerous quest to vanquish our own personal demons through patient suffering, ineffable cheerfulness, and steadfast forgiveness are we assured of lasting success.

By surrendering our own will, we clear away the obstacles that stand between us and discernment of our role in this adventure. We must be prepared to begin our journey of faith--as Frodo did in leaving his comfortable, sequestered life in the Shire--though we do not yet know where—or how far—it will take us. It is most often this first step that proves hardest.

Those who have previously begun their journey may already sit in the council at Rivendell, debating the wisest course of action with heavy hearts. There will be those who can offer sage advice. Others will be needed to bear a sword, ax or bow. For some, the greatest contribution will be companionship, hospitality or supplies for those in need. And of course, for a few, a profound depth of character, determination and self-sacrifice will be required.

The good news is that we need not rack our brains deciding which course to take, for God knows just what He will need us for in the battle to come, and if we are prepared to hear His call, we will know when the time is right. Here I am reminded of a story from Corrie Ten Boom. In response to her fear about death, Corrie’s father asked her about the times when she went with him on the train:

“Corrie, when you and I go to Amsterdam—when do I give you your ticket?”

“Why, just before we get on the train.”

“Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we’re going to need things, too. Don’t run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need—just in time.”

These resounding words of wisdom are equally applicable as we wring our hands over the state of the world, and find ourselves wanting to rush in and just do something, even if it is just to escape. All God asks of us is that we put our lives in His hands. In return, we have the assurance that when the time comes, he will abundantly supply us in our need.

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Feeling confused? You may be on the right track.

2008-08-03T15:38:00.008-05:00

Our God is a god of apparent contradictions. (I say apparent, of course, because in Him there are no contradictions, though to us it may appear so…)

It seems that as soon as we think we have learned our lesson well, and that we understand what we must do, it becomes clear that we must travel in the opposite direction for a time. Those who are extroverts are asked to become hermits, and the hermits are asked to welcome thousands. God sets before us his law, and then He sends His son to teach us that there is something more important than the law. This exalted Saviour, the crown prince of heaven, entered our world in the lowliest of circumstances, kept company with the lowliest of people, and died a lowly death on the cross like a common criminal. He is asked by his disciples to dismiss the crowds that they may seek food, and He tells them instead to feed the crowd themselves. Our Lady appears to a young girl at the city dump, and asks her to drink from a nonexistent spring.

At each turn, we are confounded, forced to rethink our advances or even retreat. Yet in truth, there is no contradiction in these commands—it is merely our pride, our certainty—however justified—in being right, that makes it appear so. Are we truly being thwarted, or merely asked to achieve our ends in a way we cannot possibly have thought of ourselves, but one that is in every way superior in the end? At the outset, there seems no point in journeying deep into Mordor, yet to Mordor we are sent.

For example, we live in a world where sequestration seems the only viable option in offering our children a chance to escape the cesspool of unchecked wickedness. If not far from the tastes, sights, sounds and entertainments offered us by the petty pushers of filth, where else can we find the strength to achieve sainthood? What chance has the tender plant of survival, immersed in these poisons?

But how can we be salt and light to the world, if our light is under a bushel? How can we follow Christ’s command to Peter to feed His sheep, when we have a hard enough time feeding ourselves? Indeed, how can we be expected to feed five thousand with five loaves and two fishes?

…Amen I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, Remove from hence hither, and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you.

(Matthew 17:19)

We daily prevent ourselves from working miracles through our own disbelief in our ability to do so. We fail to do what we ought, not for lack of wanting to, but for fear that we will fail. His sheep have become so poor and sickly that they no longer even cry out for help, and we fail to feed them lest we too become diseased. So easily we forget that even our humblest offerings on the altar of the Lord, if offered with a pure heart, are blessed and multiplied many times over, just like those five loaves and two fishes!

But where to begin? How can one, who has always sought to heed His voice, go from seeking protection from the hurricane blast, to suddenly casting our fear to the same wind? What is the answer, O Lord?

No doubt for each of us the answer is subtly different, and we will receive it in our own due time. But I take hope in the choice of words our Lord used: he spoke of faith as a grain of mustard seed. The tiniest seed, entrusted to the earth, may grow and multiply beyond our wildest dreams. We cannot bring forth a full grown tree overnight. We must plant our seed, and we must nurture it. The rest is in God’s hands.

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The story of a love affair

2008-07-29T01:34:00.005-05:00

When I was young, going to church was interesting mostly for the music and for people watching. As I got older, I grew more and more dissatisfied with the hollow sanctimoniousness and the feeling that the entire congregation were reduced to mere seatwarmers at a stage performance: between the melodramatic intonations of the priest and the “contemporary choir” strumming away, spouting hippie nonsense, I actually felt less like a participant than a paying customer. Add the ampitheater seating and proscenium lighting of the newer churches, and it becomes even more clear. When the church I attended started proudly using girls as servers during Mass, I just couldn’t stomach it anymore. (At the time, it had nothing to do with the gender of the servers, it was the sickening sense of pride that they felt over being so innovative. Bleaaarrrghhh.) I left the church for several years.

I came back after finding my faith through Classical philosophy (and the school of hard knocks). I still didn’t enjoy the staged mass, but felt that 1 hour a week was the least I could do in return for all that God had done for me.

Naturally, when I had children, it was very important to me that they should learn the importance of going to Mass every Sunday with the proper reverence. Unfortunately, the older they got, the more I realized that this was an insurmountable task. How can one teach children to pay attention during Mass when the other children around them are all munching on cheerios and coloring in coloring books? How can they learn to show proper respect when the other kids are chewing gum and chit-chatting, and wearing jeans, death metal t-shirts and bare midriffs?

It was at this time that I decided to finally act on a bit of information I had received years before: I had heard that the Latin Mass was still being said in some places. I found the nearest location and went early one Sunday morning.

Just like that first philosophy course I took—the one that eventually led me back to my faith—here I found myself lost, overwhelmed, unable to find a foothold. It was love at first sight. I started rising in the pre-dawn hours on Sunday mornings (and those who know me well can appreciate what a sacrifice that is for me) so that I could attend the 7:00 AM Mass and be back in time to bring the kids to McChurch. I was living a double life.

The only thing I had ever known about the Pre-Vatican II Mass was that everyone seemed so glad to be rid of it. The priest turned his back to you!!! The congregation didn’t participate! It was in a dead language that nobody understood! Thank goodness we got rid of these useless old vestigial rites (as if they were tonsils or appendices)!

What no one seemed to appreciate was that in reality, the priest was facing the same direction as the congregation. As in, he is our proxy, laying our supplications before the Lord. The congregation didn’t merely mumble responses on auto-pilot; they actually had to work at it if they wished to meet the Mass on its own level, rather than vice-versa. And to add insult to injury, in excising the Latin, the architects of the new Mass excised a great deal of the beautiful recitations, rituals and rubrics. Before, a priest didn’t need to have an impressive intonation, because the words of the consecration—the pinnacle of the Mass—were not performed, they were spoken scarcely above a whisper. The bells were there to let you know when Our Lord’s presence was nigh.

Our transition as a family to the new Old Mass was especially bumpy. The children who grow up with this silent, reverent mass knew how to be silent and reverent. Our children did not have this benefit; they were used to being in the “kids room” whenever they weren’t leaving Mass to go to “Sunday School”. Let’s just say it was quite a shock for them, and it was a thankless struggle for us. Our payment usually came in dagger glances, sniffles, and even rude comments. But I refused to give up. Our children still are not perfectly quiet during Mass. But we do the very best we can.

The wrench of it all is that we are not always home every weekend, and so we sometimes have to attend the local parish wherever we are. Sometimes that’s OK, and sometimes it’s not. I’m willing to suffer in humble silence, but when my daughter made her First Communion this year, it suddenly became an important issue.

She had never received Communion standing up, or in the hand, or from a layperson.

Nor did I feel that she should. I don’t.

In fact, for a long time, I did not receive the sacrament outside of the Latin Mass. I continue to struggle with my conscience over what not I, nor the Church, but My God deems right. What does He ask of me in this regard? If I cannot be present at the traditional Mass, that Mass to which I feel He himself called me, should I attend a new Mass? If I do attend a new Mass, should I receive communion? How should I receive communion? What should I do when I behold an egregious example of disrespect for the sanctity of the Mass?

I have continually wavered in my responses to these questions. I have sought advice from all those whose opinions I valued, including any priest who would listen. Some failed to understand the problem; some forbade me to attend a “Pius X schism” Mass; some forbade me to attend a “novus ordo” Mass. Perhaps the best advice I got was from a very young priest who had struggled with similar issues. He advised me to never miss Mass, no matter how bad, but to humbly intercede through my presence there that healing may be brought about in that place. I still will not receive the Eucharist from any other than the priest’s hand, and I have finally found the courage to receive Our Lord’s body only while kneeling or at least genuflecting. I pray that in doing so, I can make a humble yet persistent statement that reverence is still alive and well.

Yet I continue to struggle mightily. I know it is our fate in these times to suffer confusion in our faith, and I know that even the wisest advice cannot take the place of God’s own plan for me and my family. I continually beg Him to guide me in this respect, that I may be pleasing to Him, and that I may guide my children’s steps on the right path. I felt a special torment very recently, and again I begged God to show me what I must do. I felt that attending this particular church was unbearable and I wanted, more than anything, not to attend. I swallowed my pride and misgivings and attended anyway, and I felt that the readings that morning spoke to me of the comfort I was seeking.

The first reading was from Wisdom, chapter 12:

There is no god besides you who have the care of all,
that you need show you have not unjustly condemned.
For your might is the source of justice;
your mastery over all things makes you lenient to all.
For you show your might when the perfection of your power is disbelieved;
and in those who know you, you rebuke temerity.
But though you are master of might, you judge with clemency,
and with much lenience you govern us;
for power, whenever you will, attends you.
And you taught your people, by these deeds,
that those who are just must be kind;
and you gave your children good ground for hope
that you would permit repentance for their sins.

(Emphasis mine) I understood this to mean that though this Mass was not perfect, that we as humans can never attain perfection. To be just means to be humble, not judgemental. They may be in error, but their intentions—and mine—are known to God and he will reward each according to their deeds.

The second reading confirmed my understanding even more powerfully:

Brothers and sisters:
The Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness;
for we do not know how to pray as we ought,
but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings.
And the one who searches hearts
knows what is the intention of the Spirit,
because he intercedes for the holy ones
according to God’s will.

This snippet from Romans, chapter 8, spoke directly to my conflicted soul: we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. Without exception, we are all struggling to keep up with our Lord as he ascends Calvary. All of us stumble.

Even the Gospel reinforced His point:

Jesus proposed another parable to the crowds, saying:
“The kingdom of heaven may be likened
to a man who sowed good seed in his field.
While everyone was asleep his enemy came
and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off.
When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well.
The slaves of the householder came to him and said,
‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field?
Where have the weeds come from?’
He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’
His slaves said to him,
‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’
He replied, ‘No, if you pull up the weeds
you might uproot the wheat along with them.
Let them grow together until harvest;
then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters,
“First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles for burning;
but gather the wheat into my barn.”’” (Matthew 13:24-30)

We fool ourselves in thinking that we can separate ourselves from the weeds. We must reach out to Him from where we are, and not fail to do so simply because we are not where we most want to be—after all, that place we most want to be is in His bosom.

I do believe we are doing the right thing by making the sacrifices we do to attend the most reverent and holy Mass we have access to. I cannot interpret this message as an excuse to become complacent in this regard. However, it gives me great solace to feel that for the first time, I know what I must do. Ivory towers will not do. To be just, I must be kind. The Holy Spirit will intercede for me, whether I am at the Tridentine Mass or the Novus Ordo Mass, or in a field in Timbuktu.

My heart shall rejoice in thy salvation: I will sing to the Lord, who giveth me good things: yea I will sing to the name of the Lord the most high. (Psa 12:6)

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Forgiveness…is a weapon???

2008-07-28T00:05:00.007-05:00

I once had the particular misfortune of seeing the movie Seven. It was perhaps the worst, most disgusting film I’ve ever seen in my life. Unfortunately, to explain why—and to explain why anyone should care—I will have to tell you a little about the movie itself.

The hero of the story, a police detective named David Mills, is trying to keep one step ahead of a serial killer who has set out to “make a statement” by committing a murder representing each of the Seven Deadly Sins. (Because, of course, religious wackos are like that, right?) For example, he forces a morbidly obese man to eat himself to death for the sin of gluttony. I will not go into detail, as to do so would be to promulgate further the absolute evil of this film.

The ending has a twist that unbelievably manages to make this terrible movie even worse. The serial killer turns himself in, with the condition that he will confess if he can show Mills the location of the last two victims. He then reveals his sixth victim: Mills’ own pregnant wife. He knows that Mills will then be unable to resist the temptation to murder him, completing his perfect crime for him with the seventh sin of Wrath.

Mills knows he is being manipulated—he knows that the power rests in his own hands to prevent this final murder. Granted, the provocation was extreme, understandable even. The temptation to give in and extract a life for a life (two, in fact…) is nearly irresistible.

Nearly.

Trouble is, he’s not just Joe Shmoe, he’s a policeman, and as such, he is necessarily held to a higher moral standard. If I have to explain why that is the case, you’re reading the wrong blog.

Of course, it wouldn’t have won MTV’s Best Movie award if the ending were not a pathetic display of defeatism and apathy. Naturally, Mills gives in to his baser instincts, allows his wrath to rule him and executes the killer in cold blood.

So now, the question in all of your minds is: Why did you just subject us to this disgusting story? Well you may ask, but I have several very good reasons.

First, this story is a perfect example of the stark contrast between the culture that produced movies like It’s a Wonderful Life and the culture that produced this heap of excrement.

A culture that promotes high moral values—even in the midst of the direst circumstances (like The Depression, or either World War)—tends to be looked upon today as being hopelessly quaint. Quaint it may be, but when push comes to shove, the human values of the quaint and backward ensure a much better outcome than the animal instincts of the herd would.

Second, this movie portrays very well the epidemic of apathy that has allowed our culture to so rapidly disintegrate. Since the early sixties (and even before), popular culture has been an exercise in shocking the basic human dignity out of the populace one humiliation at a time. Profane language. Nudity. Sexual behaviour. Homosexual behaviour. We protest, we complain, we write letters to the editor, we unsuccessfully boycott, then eventually we have no choice but to give up as the tidal wave rushes over our heads.

(Lest anyone should think all of this is coincidental, it has its basis in Critical Theory, the linchpin of Cultural Marxism. This radical shift in thinking was the brainchild of a group called the Frankfurt School and was espoused by thinkers from Gramsci to Adorno to Marcuse. The basic idea involves infiltrating popular culture (the real opiate of the masses) and successively debasing it through first discomfort, then shock. Think of modern 12-tone "music" and modern "art". The inevitable protest is kept to a minimum through character defamation (think of the stigma that is heavily applied to the religious right) and intensive campaigns of disinformation (if enough people say the same thing enough times, it becomes de facto truth). Over time, this process has allowed counterculturalists to succeed where the Bolsheviks did not: winning hearts and minds--subjugating the culture from within—all courtesy of the complacency of the common man…But I digress…)

However, both of these issues, important as they are, merely reinforce what we have already acknowledged: that Humanity is Weakness. All of this is mere window dressing compared to the deeper issue at hand.

What are the Seven Deadly Sins?

Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Lust. Pride. Envy. Wrath.

And what is it that makes them so “deadly”? What do they all have in common?

They are the enemies of self control and of love. All of them can be eschewed by liberal use of the Golden Rule. Of course, the pitfalls of our imperfect nature make this simple rule so hard to follow (see: If you’re not with Him, you’re against Him.) Our bodies cannot help but focus continually on the self, on comfort and pleasure, and on looking out for “number one”. It is counterintuitive in every way for us to step outside this nature. Thank God that, in his infinite wisdom, He placed in our hearts the capacity for love. For the sake of love, we are able to periodically sacrifice our own desires for those whom we hold dear. (And then civil society helps sandbag whatever holes are left by glorifying moral rectitude through culture.)

Yet we tend to hamper our own ability to find happiness in love when we fail to practice forgiveness. Our human nature naturally rejects forgiveness, because forgiveness implies trust.

You’ve heard the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Being gullible is a major liability, not merely for the sake of one’s reputation, but also for the sake of financial solvency, and sometimes even survival. Trust is like money—it must be earned. Because of this, we are weighed down by a perceived need to limit our forgiveness toward others. When we confuse forgiveness with trust, we miss the true significance and unexpected power it carries.

And we all have, at some point, been bludgeoned with that seventy times seven thing, and “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. We know we are supposed to forgive others, but when the word forgiveness is mentioned, it tends to conjure up images of those awkward moments when someone says “I’m sorry,” and we are expected to say, “I forgive you,” whether we feel like it or not.

It is true that this could loosely be considered forgiveness, in the same way that nervously swaying back and forth could be considered dancing, though it bears precious little resemblance to the real thing.

What we desperately need to understand is that refusal to forgive means refusal to allow God’s love to flow through us. Blocking the natural flow of His love is no different from blocking the food we eat, or the blood in our veins, from flowing through our bodies. Who in their right mind would willingly cause themselves such anguish? Only suffering, disease and death come from both types of blockages. When we refuse to forgive, we cut off other members of Christ’s Body from the love that He intended for their nourishment and healing. “And if one member suffer any thing, all the members suffer with it…” (1 Cor 12:26) In this way, we come to recognize that when we forgive, we are putting our trust not in the forgiven, but in the infinite wisdom of God’s will for that person.

So, going to go back to my distasteful example, the movie Seven, if David Mills’ character, despite being “justified” in killing this despicable murderer, had understood that his greatest weapon in that moment was not his gun, but FORGIVENESS, he could have wielded a power that moves mountains.

Yes, that’s right. FORGIVENESS IS A WEAPON.

A very potent one, in fact, because forgiveness unleashes love—and not just any love, but the same love that Christ shared by dying for us. When we practice forgiveness, the subsequent flood of love brings us immeasurable peace, and, put together, these ingredients form a recipe that thwarts most beautifully the craftiest of Satan’s snares.

Had you forgotten that Satan is at war with us?

Unhappiness is Satan’s favorite way of tormenting us: How effortlessly our gluttony, greed, sloth, lust, pride, envy and wrath lead us to bind ourselves willingly in fetters! Incomprehensibly, we cling to the cold comfort of these chains of our own making--for it is not Satan himself, but our own free will that holds us bound. By employing self control, we can avoid adding to the weight of these chains. But only true forgiveness has the power to “break their bonds asunder, and cast away their yokes from us.” (Psalm 2:3).

Does it now become clear that the momentousness of Mills’ decision reaches far beyond merely the trite plot of a pop culture movie? He has been handed, on a golden platter, a power he can scarcely even comprehend: a power to fight evil and win. But his ignorance, pride, apathy, and of course, wrath, bind him to that evil. He makes the common but fatal mistake in thinking that evil is too great to be overcome by the decision of a single person. Sadly, his error only deepens his own debt to that evil.

A choice to forgive does not mean condoning or accepting that act which has wounded us. Rather, it means that we accept that God’s will for the one who has wounded us is infinitely better than our own. We need no longer hold them bound; we place them in God’s hands. This simple act of humility and obedience in turn releases us from our self-made prison by allowing God’s love to flow freely through us as it was intended, bringing peace and healing. This is Forgiveness.

One of the world’s greatest experts on this subject was Corrie Ten Boom, whose book The Hiding Place is inspirational beyond all imagining, and is the ultimate antidote to the story of Seven. Here is a woman who managed to survive the unrelenting horror of a Nazi concentration camp without losing heart, then learned to forgive her tormentors and embrace them with God’s love. Then she traveled the world for the rest of her life telling her story to everyone who would listen. She transcends human nature on a level that the rest of us can only aspire to, and as a result, her words vibrate with the sheer power of the Holy Spirit. The power of her example shows us that we too can learn to forgive.

We must ask forgiveness. We must forgive others—whether we think they deserve forgiveness or not. And we must also forgive ourselves. Doing so will likely take a lifetime of practice—no—strength training!—through humility, self-denial and love. Yet the alternative is to continue carrying chains that bind not our bodies, but our souls, choking off God’s healing love. So start your heavy lifting now. Read The Hiding Place for inspiration. (The movie is less than a shadow of the book!) And wield your new weapon well and often.

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Gee, at this rate we might actually save...two people?

2008-07-24T21:01:00.005-05:00

This article was actually highlighted in red on Drudge Report today.

An excerpt:

The director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute and UPMC Cancer Centers plans to issue an advisory to about 3,000 faculty and staff today about the possible health risks associated with cellular phone use.

"Recently I have become aware of the growing body of literature linking long-term cell phone use to possible adverse health effects including cancer," Dr. Ronald Herberman said in the memorandum. "Although the evidence is still controversial, I am convinced that there are sufficient data to warrant issuing an advisory to share some precautionary advice on cell phone use."

It would be nice to think that a handful of people might actually sit up and take notice...but I doubt it. No matter how many studies are done, there are always the drones who stand around like drooling monkeys to say the following:

There is nothing wrong with taking precautions, but "the bottom line, at this time, is that there is no conclusive evidence tying cell phone use to brain cancer," said Dan Catena, a spokesman for the American Cancer Society.

And what article would be complete without a canned response from those with the most vested interest in having such information ignored:

"The overwhelming majority of studies that have been published in scientific journals around the globe show that wireless phones do not pose a health risk," CTIA-The Wireless Association, a group representing the wireless industry, said in a statement.

Right. No bias there.

Besides, you don't need to have--or use--a cell phone to get your brain cooked. At the rate they're erecting cellular towers and antennas, we will achieve critical saturation any day now.

Here's a comical scenario: If you were to liken this news to the criticism that smoking received at the beginning of its fall from grace, you would have to imagine that not only could you be exposed to cigarette smoke through proximity to smokers, but that there were giant cigarettes burning 24/7 along every highway, atop every library, school and government building; every bank, every convenience store; heck, maybe even atop your own apartment building...

So...good luck with that.

Caves just keep sounding better all the time.

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A Crisis of Epic Proportion

2008-07-17T13:35:00.000-05:00

Has the staggering extent of the tragedy occurring under our noses ever occurred to anyone else?

I’m not talking about African genocides, or the current food crisis, the burgeoning sex trade, or the banking scandal, although each of those is indeed troubling.

I’m talking about the generation of children (and adults too) who would rather starve than eat actual, unadulterated FOOD.

If the oatmeal isn’t the instant, sugary stuff; if the eggs aren’t drowned in cheese; if the bread isn’t the consistency of space-age memory foam; if the hot dogs and hamburgers aren’t served on the same, drowning in ketchup; if the fish didn’t come from a can—it might as well be dirt.

I mean, I’m not asking anyone to eat plain meat right off the carcass. However, our diet more closely resembles what people have been eating for centuries—even millennia—than it resembles the diet of the average American. That is, we usually eat food as close as possible to the way God made it. What does that mean? Rarely do I ponder what the real differences are, or how great is the gulf separating the two.

The reality of the divide was brought home to me recently, as I was grieved to find that I could not offer a breakfast food even remotely palatable to my two nephews, with the exception, perhaps, of a bowl full of raisins.

How could I forget such a thing? No doubt, from their perspective, I appeared wholly self-centered and uncaring not to offer them sugary sawdust flakes and juice. To some extent, that may be accurate…I should have thought of it before breakfast came. But I quite honestly forgot! I forgot that the overwhelming majority of my fellow Americans either cannot or will not consider eating anything that has not been overseasoned, overcooked, processed, smothered, and otherwise made to taste as little as possible like the original ingredients. I’m not being ironic; I really forgot.

And though I felt abashed at my lack of hospitality, I was shedding tears for these children. I choked down my own plain, dry, unexciting breakfast over the lump in my throat.

All I could think of (besides how tragic is the effect of these non-foods on these children’s lives, both today and years from now) was this: When our current food crisis—and economic crisis—worsens—and it WILL…

…What will these people eat???

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Nice wishful thinking...

2008-07-15T12:04:00.004-05:00

I've been having an...er...um...interesting conversation over on OpEdNews.com, with a writer who calls herself a "legal advocate" but has such a poor understanding of constitutional law that she actually believes the sale of raw milk is legal because there is no constitutional amendment prohibiting it...

Click here if you think you can handle it.

The idea of a news site where contributions are open (though moderated...?) to any Tom, Dick or Harry who signs up for an account is thought-provoking. As in, it provokes the thought that the integrity of the articles posted is questionable at the very least. The fact that someone with no clue how the constitution functions can post drivel like this without anyone catching her up is not a good thing for a news site that wants to be taken seriously.

I may be no fan of the Mainstream Media, but you can bet I won't be getting my news from OpEdNews.

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Mmmmhmm...yup.

2008-07-14T15:01:00.004-05:00

...Although I don't really think the portrait of OBL over the mantel is quite right. The Obamas will definitely destroy our country every bit as well as Osama ever could, but I don't think it's because they like him, it's because they are as self-centered as him. They are absolutely blinded by their obsession with themselves. Then again, so are most Americans, so I guess it's a good fit. Isn't it ironic that we will manage to vote ourselves into oblivion? I just wish I had a nice big mountain to hide under...
Oh yeah, and shouldn't Obama be depicted as Jimmy Carter rather than an imam?

File this one under: the truth that makes humor funny.
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Enjoy, but don't ask me what it means.

2008-07-11T17:20:00.003-05:00

On Wednesday, as we were sitting down to lunch, my children gasped and pointed to the ceiling. "Look! It's a dove!" I glanced idly behind me, wondering what my children's active imaginations were interpreting as a dove. I was so captivated, I had to record it on video and share it. See what you think.

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